Sunday, January 18, 2009


current status: exhausted + emo

i got myself some sports today. it's not some volunteer stuff, it's compulsory. so, i'm on it. it was a 6km rentas desa. i ran alone. actually i got some friends at first, but we lost track so i gotta go on my own. like usual, we always get the same track, the one which includes stadium + taman ria *totally undefined which taman ria is* + serudung power etc.

i was targeting to be at least the 15th for the perempuan A category but i didn't manage to get it. i was the 17th.

and'and'and, something happened today. something unusual. i guess.
when i was in the midst of running, some familiar shadow appeared behind me. it was him to my surprise. i just ignored him. so do him. did he? we're running together for quite a time. but i kept ignoring him. after a while, his shadow was no longer exists in my sight. so, i kept on running on my own, again.

to be honest, it's kinda awkward once you saw your ex. a lil guilty, awkwardness, ashamed, it just freaked me out. i was trying to be natural in front of him, play it like i'm having an awesome time, stop noticing him, but i just CAN'T. how am i suppose to do all those things? i love him.

i just don't know how to be friend with him. FRIENDS. yeah, it's easy to be a guy's friend, but once you've been together, it kinda messes things up. you know, it's just too awkward.

i still remember when i decided to break up with him, i bawled for a month straight. i was that upset, bemused. i couldn't decide, neither bad nor good; neither right nor wrong. it's just so wrong. nothing's going right. everything turned upside down. i broke down for almost a month and for the consequences, i lost almost of my tears. LOL.

i was like --- i don't wanna look pretty anymore; i wanna look more like hard-core. terrible, isn't it?

but it was totally ridiculous when i think it back. i think i'm healing from those damages and i'm improving our relationship. i mean relationship as friends. maybe he had forgotten everything that happened between us, but i won't.
you know i won't. you mean a lot to me. even that one month, you're just too special for me.

will you stay awake for me?
'cause i don't wanna miss anything
but i'll definitely miss you. i love you


back to sports issue, BALUNG was the first runner up right now with 700++ marks. a lot of thanks to those who've contributed marks for BALUNG including me :)

so, keep up the good work and don't give up, BALUNG!

No comments: