Monday, January 31, 2011

i was enchanted.

what can i say? Terengganu has the most beautiful beach that i’ve ever seen.

i had a visit to kuala terengganu last week, well, not for hey-babe-it's-holiday-let's-get-some-fun, it's more like; good-girl-accompanying-mom-to-a-meeting-why-not-having-some-fun. HAHA. -,-

these are my favourite shots. check them out :D

well, the difference between Mataking Island in Semporna Sabah and Terengganu is; the beaches. indeed, i adored the green and crystal clear ocean along my island hopping few years ago in Semporna, the variety of fish when i get to feed them at the jetty, the unique flora and fauna in the islands itself, the high tower which is possibly higher than the firehouse but unlike Terengganu, Terengganu treasures its own wonderful coastline and soft powdery sands. simply breathtaking.

whenever you're alone, book would be your best company :)

till then kuala terengganu, hope we'll meet again; so i can say subhanallah, once again :)

p/s: the other cool shots were uploaded to my fb.

pleasant viewing. salam! :D

Thursday, January 27, 2011

treat girls RIGHT!

now it's girl-to-girl-talk; have you ever feel unsecured? invisible? or like a fat beast? an ugly skank? has anyone ever talk bad about you? and have you ever talk something bad behind them? abusing and being abused. regardless of what it looks like; essentially feeling abused might actually really human. almost everyone feels it, almost everyone goes through it, but not everyone talks about it. which really proves the point that 'abuse' is more about the person feeling it, than whom or what they're abused of.

oh, that's way too hush. scratch that; perhaps you've heard of 'you look chubbier now!', 'you're so cute!', 'you're pretty but you should gain a little weight than it'll be okay'. hold on; OKAY??? what does it mean by that OKAY?? i'm skinny? or i'm fat??

well, i can say that the most popular new year's resolution is to lose weight. everyone is beating up themselves just to be as hot as Kim Kardashian or maybe Yuri SNSD. i am definitely not excluded. but if you look back and think; no matter how fat one is, you can't convince them to go for The Biggest Loser just to lose weight! how about the shame? how are they going to face the whole society? how does the society will treat them next? no; the question is; has the society ever consider how they actually feel?

when you said to someone that may look like a joke, either you mean it or not, like; "every time she hits the ground, the earth shakes!" HAHA, that's so funny - not; that's humiliating. some would go for the invisible tease, like; "you look good in dress." but actually you're not. imagine if she takes the so called compliments seriously; she'll wear it on. then most of the people stared at you like you're an alien sent from Mars. would you mind? or you won't? it's so easy to say 'who cares?' yeah, who cares? i care.

remember it's a girl-to-girl talk. sometimes the magazines specifically the teens magazines would easily go for; 'be cool' or 'ignore them' even if you're not? of course, it works on increasing your self-esteem but does it work on healing your feelings? girls, it's MEAN to ask you to mind others' words. IT IS. but there're times you should listen and you shouldn't. simple. look at this sentence;

"you know what, you're fat. like seriously; you have to lose weight immediately or else you'll be the fattest teenager of the year! maybe it's a gene-thing of being fat because your dad looks chubby somehow."

now this is abusive. you can't just simply accept people insulting your family, especially your parents just because you're fat. let's see; what you should listen and what you should not;

"you know what, you're fat. like seriously; you have to lose weight immediately or else you'll be the fattest teenager of the year! maybe it's a gene-thing of being fat because your dad looks chubby somehow."

if this doesn't work on you; it destroys you! you'll burst into tears, deep in your heart; "no one would care if you jumped off a cliff, so why don't you?"

no, don't jump. you know what, they're destroying you with those 'fat beast' phrases just because they thought you're an easy target to make fun of. is it worth enough to just die because some kind of jerks make fun of you? let them be and all you have to do is find the right way of losing weight and prove to them that;

indeed they're ugly! they mind others' body but they dare not to look at their own faces because you know what; they're ugly! hahahahaha *evil laugh*

now what? abuse me with boyfriend again? told you i don't need boyfriend!

bravo and kudos to yourself who recognized that you do not need a boyfriend but a real man in your life :)

it takes courage, and self-confidence to not cave to pressures to go out there and find a boyfriend. look, we don't need to find our identity or be defined as to who we are by having to linked with a boyfriend. because; there's a great difference between needing a boyfriend and wanting a man in her life.

indeed every girl wants a man in her life. the long answer is she will want a man, when the time in her life makes her ready for a special man. toy boys need not apply.

yeah, that UGLY fact may apply for why i'm not having boyfriend. the other girls-with-no-boyfriend-yet-living-happily and i may look ugly now but someday; we believe there's always a true man sent by Allah who would realise how beautiful we are. well, of course they're not malaikat but they're our husbands :)

let's just say; it's a self-reliance and the will power to learn and see projects through on our own; taking care of our health and personal growth without needing the approval or permission of any male (except our father). doesn't this demonstrate young womens' strong spirit? what else makes a girl to be admired other than her independant spirit? :D *bangga bangga*

guess the boys reading this would get the message, that independant girl is not a trophy to be won, nor will she simply offer herself to a male. she's priceless and too expensive to get. she's totally unavailable. now every girls-with-no-boyfriends; no, scratch that, let's call ourselves - independant girls, give ourselves the biggest applause for being true to ourselves :D

bear this in mind; if you think a man respects you for who you are, he won't beg you to be his girlfriend, he won't pollute you with his sweet talk, he won't buy you with prosperity but he'll propose you to be his wife :D

insyaAllah; marriages that are usually good and lasting marriages are those that start at the least affection. be a true love believer 'cause true love waits :)

salam! :D

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

if there is always a light at the end of the tunnel

you know how there are somedays when everything goes right, it all falls into place effortlessly and you feel great. there's something in the way things work out that make you feel happy, like getting flying colours result and all you've been thinking is to give your parents a look at it and get compliments?

and you look back and think: even if it didn't go the way i planned i wouldn't have changed anything about it because it couldn't have happened any better.

but during our toiling and planning, during our crisis we tend to think: oh man! this had better work or else all my efforts are wasted. in troubling times we may throw our hands up in the air and shout "why me?!". there is wisdom in the line: "you know, one day we'll look back and laugh at this." you can't feel it then but life turns out for the best all of the time.

what if we could stop in the midst of our work or our dilemmas and feel those after-the-fact feelings of happiness and security. if there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, wouldn't our troubling experiences be much easier to go through? wouldn't we be better able to think and handle the situation if we could be assured that no matter what choice we make (provided we strive to make what we feel is the right choice) it will be okay. definitely it'll be grand!

i did feel bad about the interview that i've failed to go through; been thinking where did i screw up, what have i done wrong, even been thinking if i choose the other course instead of medic, would i have been chosen? none of us who applied for medic manage to get the express-scholarship - skim pelajar cemerlang (SPC) offered by MARA (to be honest, it's really hard to get spc for medic as there's quota for the borneo's students; only 5 for the whole sabah and sarawak).

ray and allan; it's a lie if i told you both that i'm strong and i don't really care about the scholarship. we've been struggling to do our best for that very interview; for trial MARA even during the interview we tried to be strong and face every questions that showered us. but one thing that i realised after the interview is; do not think that you're the best if you're not but try to be the best instead.

no worries, it's just possible to feel blessed and joyful even in the crappiest of times. IT IS a truely out-of-place euphoria to feel happy despite the pain, and peaceful despite the chaos. it's like being suspended in time while history and the future rush and melt, and you realise "what does it really matter? if i didn't have this problem, it'd be another. might as well enjoy it because stressing out is wasted effort flung in all directions and just dissipates into the air."

i guess some call it 'living in the moment', even the bad moments. feeling blessed and happy is always there, even in bad times, we just don't pay it any attention. just look and you'll see.

because; i'm a true believer that Allah is with us. he's always there; watching how we react to this tribulation. i have no more regrets that despite all efforts, i failed the interview. don't i cry? yes, i did and still cry especially when i forward my forgiveness to God; how i may become a forgetful servant and how sometimes i become laghaa with all temptations. i learn to cleanse my heart and i really feel the guilt that it is still not purify because of the anger and sadness. ya Allah, i am truly seeking your forgiveness.

please forgive me and insyaAllah this long tunnel will end with lights. amin :)

Thursday, January 20, 2011

almost heart attack -,-

as the sun stretches out its golden rays and begins to climb into the sky, its glorious morning light makes the clouds blush in a swirl of purple and orange. oh, unlike the days had passed, the cock next door declined to give its daily speech. no, it didn't exist today, left in sandakan apparently. thank God, but i was wide awake; even though last night i remembered i was insomnia. but, i wouldn't wake my mom from her slumber; thought it was too early to be awaken.

i grabbed my watch instead of alarm clock like i used to. looked into the figures on it but unfortunately there's no figure. after a few seconds of interpreting; oh my, oh myyy!!! i screeched. *worse than that i think*

10.47???? a.m or p.m??? @*(#^*&$%&^#!!!
"mumyyyy!! we're late!! wake up mom!!! we'll miss our flight, uncle useh is waiting downstairs, we need to check out...i haven't packed my things...blah blah...etc"

my mom was so cooooool -,-
(like seriously, she has never been cool that way -,-)
"it's still early la yin. look at the phone (my mom's mobile phone)" lending me that mobile with her full confidence. -,-
me: "no mom. it's 10.45am!!!!" O.O


my mom's mobile number shows 0417. okay, stop. it has been a while since i attended add math class, really. worked on math problem? last year maybe. haha. no, it's not funny. i was confused, i was right. i've always been the right one. so i told my mom her phone rosak. then my mom switch on the entire lights in the room we rented; proving that she's right.

apparently she is. it's 4.17am. -________________-

HAHA -,-
my watch turned upside down. no, i turned my watch upside down. -____________-

so here i am now, calming myself down from an-almost-heart-attack; at KKIA - MAS Golden Launge, consuming my breakfast. the place is soo good, it's newly opened. much much better than the KLIA's one. *bersyukur* :D

they provide buffet, television, free-computer-usage, restrooms (of course) magnificient view (really) etc...and WiFi :DD

why they always have pin codes mann, hotel also the same -,-. give unsecured wiFi maa, baru generous. look at airaisia; always says everyone can fly; MAS can also improve; like, EVERYONE CAN ONLINE :D (nice kan? haha)

yummy breakFATS. -,-

flight to KL is at 10am something. cant wait to meet my big brother (si pencuri chocolate saya). hehe, miss him so much! till then, pray for my safe journey :)

captured this from today's Borneo Post

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR PEOPLE and happy advanced birthday to me. hehehe. >,<
salam :D

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

VACATION!! *woot woot* :D

finished my magazines, finished a few novels, read each and every lines on issues in newspaper, repeated a few movies, tutored my little sister academically and even on attitudes, tired of the dirts on dishes, been cooking all day long like seriously people are getting fat, also beating myself up to get real slim like anorexic etc; list of grievances goes on.

i'm bored, like seriously -.-

so, after months of turning my eyes from shopping, i let myself go back to pick up some essentials. i'll make sure to only stop in a few stores. i swear! well, bookstore is a must of course! *cant help it*:D

the above picture shows how desperate i am to get those thing

alhamdulillah, kk (kota kinabalu) waits no more. i am officially at KK, tadaaaa! my generous mom brought me along to her one week meeting which happens to be my so-called-one-week-vacay! (i'm like tumpang sekaki setangan etc kakitangan sort of thing laa ;D) thanks mommm!! yeah, and i'm glad to be here. arrived at 3pm, checked-in, settle down; then, SHOPPING :DD

camwhoring sekejap :D

the atmosphere everywhere was pretty the same, loads of red, very noisy and crowded too

chinese new year is getting near people. with Chinese New Year and my birthday falling on the same day, present present pleasee!! anyone??? *ada ONG!! kaching kaching*

no worries, ang pao can be sent in cash, pay cheque etc. for the dato'2; bank-in pun boleh. haji bakhil can give me makan treat, at Chili. HEHE :DDD

wawasan plaza left; warisan square right

Penang Char Kuey Teow.

this dish has always been one of my all time favorites. kuey teow is hor fun, the flat rice noodle is the delicious food that loved by Southeast Asian and ME!! it's equally good in soup base (kuey teow tang, chicken floss hor fun *this tastes sooo good* and etc) or in stir fry (char kuey teow, clam hor fun,etc). well, why is char kuey teow so popular? ASK ME, ASK ME!! :D

well,'s pretty hard to explain in words, the only answer is to find the exact place and taste it by your own! it tastes sooo gooooood! caution to those have gouts, dont eat too much; usually they put tauge alot, so beware.

cool shots by not-so-cool cam. HEHE :)

after 5 hours of wandering around, browsing some essentials, well, my mission is partially accomplished. yay me!

it's been a while really since i last bought her books. it was 2 years ago, when my mom agreed to buy for me Hurting Distance and Little Face (well, of course after non-stop-begging-yet-doing-it-whole-heartedly just to get these two books)

it's no secret that i love Sophie Hannah's books, like soo soooo muchh! i think she's an amazing writer and i never ever know what is going to happen in her books, and usually, i know who has done what and why by about the third chapter of a thriller/mystery/horror. but reading Sophie Hannah - i won't lie to you; she doesn't shy away from going to some very, very dark places. it's a waste if you are looking for a cheerful read when this amusing writer exists in this real world, like seriously; you have to read her books. like my friend did to my Hurting Distance until she forgot to return it back, kan fera? hehe. no worries, i'm going to charge you for the overdue. hehe *kidding*

i picked up these two books (The Other Half Lives and A Room Swept White) based on critical reviews that had been posted online and in book publications. it was very good and if you enjoy British psychological thrillers a la Minette Walters, you won't be disappointed :)

well, of course nerds need to be vain too. i bought a handbag, well hope it won't look bulky in the others' eyes especially the pedestrians (just in case my handbag looks ugly so much then he couldn't stop staring until he missed the traffic...uh...what will happen next, kan?) but, who cares? hehe, so here we gooo; the vouge-est handbag i've ever had (for the time being laa), tadaaaa!

it's white actually. simple kan? look vain?? see, told you vainity won't kill. HAHA, no lah, cheap cheap one; in pasar gantung also got. haha. okay everyone, sleep tight! remember to forgive and forget before you sleep! forgive me too yaa!

salam :D

Monday, January 17, 2011

two and a half movies in a row :)

you're alone, you always think you're a loner, you'll never get along with people; well, you said that. but have you ever said that you need a replacement? you need someone similar with that person you've been missing? you missed somebody and that's not alone; but lonely.

i thought it's plausible to just forget people, when they went to boarding school, to overseas or maybe; to death. moans and groans, still; those never matched my life but i am not the one who decides. love and loss, that's what i thought. the feelings? i've never thought of them to approach, they just dropped by as if the wind blows each time we stopped to converse.

the lump in my throat just kept growing and growing. i practically had to force it down when i watched My Sister's Keeper last night, just to prevent my mom from hearing me sob (even though i knew my mom was actually sleeping). well, who knows my sobs would wake her from her slumber and i know that would definitely throw me off. i was ego, no; i am ego :\

this real world; people come and go, there's no such thing like touch and go, really. death is not separation but it's a return. don't cry when they're gone, smile because they're loved. love each and every creatures who are living with us, or leaving us or even those who had left us.

why am i so emo? don't ask. bad influences from HBO. -,-
oh yea, the other one and a half movies are Antara Garisan (Astro Ria) and half of When In Rome (Star Movies) - since i watched My Sister's Keeper for the first half an hour, hehe ;)

and now, kindly take a glimpse on my new-hand-made-layout. simple and love it. no more heavy gadgets on this page, crossed-finger :D

songs of the week :)

by the way, good news. terengganu people; please get ready, i'm on my way! so to KK and KL folks, it's shopping time! (well, even though year end sale is over now) it's better late than never! :D

salam :D