Sunday, June 26, 2011

we're so lucky, batch 93

warning: the following post may seem to be a racial slur but keep in mind the writer is a malay, therefore there is no racial bs in this. furthermore, the writer would like to apologize on any damage inflicted by the following. everyone is entitled for their opinion and the writer has hers. freedom of speech is practiced in Malaysia. viewer discretion is advised :)

guess most of us are well aware of this. but if you don't, kindly check it here:
1. PSD scholarships to be reviewed next year or
2. PM: Total review of PSD scholarship policy in 2012 :)

earlier this month, i was shocked and i believe most of us were, as well since we're informed that students with top results didn't get PILN that they deserve to get despite the vow made by pm that all students scoring 8A+ and above will receive the PSD scholarships. some of them even ended up getting matrix and diploma to study in local.

i am not a straight A+ student in the first place but alhamdulillah, i got PILN. i was excited at the beginning but as time passes, i felt guilty. i thought that i didn't deserve to get it.

so last night i had a short yet thoughtful conversation with a friend of mine, Afiq who is pursuing his studies in UTM Skudai under MARA's Excellence Scheme Program (SPC). yes, he was offered a fast track engineering course even before spm result was announced. he's one of our top spm scorers in my former school and i must admit, he's indeed a potential student. he decided to stay on track, "even if most of your friends are studying abroad?", i asked.

"this is already a blessing. who knows that i may pursue my master abroad?" - he replied.

that very sentence itself had made me thought.

"do i deserve this?" - i doubted.
i didn't feel as ecstatic as i expected myself to be. yes of course, i am grateful, but somehow i still question myself: "do i deserve this?". i am a bumiputra, so when people say non-bumi scorers didn't get PILN, i was taken aback. why did i get this, and not them? what if someone needs it more that i need it? not to say that i am from a rich family, but i believe my parents can afford to send me to local IPTA for my studies. makes me wonder, this opportunity i am given, although i believe God fated it for me, maybe, just maybe, if someone whose financial state is worse than mine is given the opportunity - maybe it'll be more worthy? maybe it'll make a whole lot more of a difference.

"opportunity knocks but only once, yin" - my heart whispered.
why don't i just accept it and make full use of this opportunity to study hard, get my degree, and come back to serve my nation? yes, the only approach to this situation is i've promised to study real hard and not to take it for granted. it is not a privilege, it's a responsibility. we're using the people's money, they've worked to earn, feed their kids and paid taxes. being a government scholar is never about the fame or the bragging rights because after our studies, we'll work in the government, for the people.

"yes, the people" - i assured myself.
we study for them, we work for them, we serve them. not the political party that runs the government, not the royal family that leads our constitution - but the people of Malaysia, regardless of their race and faith.

yes, i want to educate people to love themselves, how each and everyone of my patient is so precious. i want the entire nation to appreciate themselves with the only way possible – take a good care of their own body. and i strongly believe that an education supported by using people’s money, who pay taxes every year, should be giving back to what they’ve paid for, and this i aim to achieve.

insyaAllah, i'll do my best in IB. lillahitaa'la :)

so dear friends, jpa/mara or any scholars, even those who're studying in IPTAs and pre-u program provided allowance every month, be grateful that we're given financial aid from the government. whether it's PIDN or PILN, be thankful that we had at least secured a place to continue our studies.

always believe that this is part of Allah's wonderful plan in our life. as for those brilliant students who didn't get a scholarship, perhaps God is moulding them and preparing them for something even greater.

remember, taking the scholarship for granted and not doing their best is like stealing people's money.

and for this i would like to wish everyone: all the best! :)

assalamualaikum :D

Monday, June 13, 2011

so you want to be a doctor?

i admire the frankness and honesty in some articles, here and here. and do read up the other views from the other doctors, provided the link on the right column.

reality hurts, this phrase suits the medical profession very well. the bloggers (of MOs, HOs, specialists etc) did a great job in informing future doc-wannabes about the pros and cons of the profession, mostly about the misconception that the public has regarding the medical doctor.

i had my days in sandakan right after i finished my high school. considering my mom's profession who often deals with the medical staffs in general hospital, i took every opportunity just to at least know how the journey of a doctor would be, with a great hope that i will someday embark on this journey with passion, with great interest in the subject.

until, this one HO approached me and asked: are you sure you want to become a doctor? i nodded, reassured him with a yes.

still, he doubted me.

1. doctors have no life - he added.
i believe that we had goals. silly, egotistical goals of fame and money. not to forget, the adequate level of hormones such as testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin in our brain which will trigger the desire of having boyfriend/girlfriend and soon to bonding and creation of long term relationship, marriage.

to whom we're married, it's Allah's arrangement. with this belief and a little effort, insyaAllah, our sincere desire will be fulfilled since it's a sunnah from Rasulullah :)

fame and money? 4:77, 40:39.

2. gaji tak besar - he argued.
looking at the government sector, i believe salary does not keep in tandem with the forever rising costs of living. one day i will have my own family to feed, while taking care of the elderly in my family. and reconsider the hazardous long hours of working, i thought twice.

i once had an experience of working, as a cashier in KFC. some will doubt me in response: "how can you compare a cashier with a doctor?" this is not comparing, only to share my first working experiences. this career may sound like a 'cashier' but we did a lot more other things, rather than standing there comfortably waiting for customers, involving ourselves only with figures and money. we clean the equipments, deal with dissatisfied customers, cut the lettuce to 0.08mm width and 0.5mm of length, we measure every single thing according to the procedures. we even work overtime without overtime pay.

i believe the rest of the careers on earth require responsibilities and hard work, including doctors.

i know, i'm not yet a doctor and have no rights in discussing the reality of being a doctor in the first place.

3. but, why blame us?

what amuses me so much is how this person is actually happy and excited to see the disappointed faces of future doctors. all those good doctors in the country today, weren’t they “enthusiastic SPM leavers” once before? maybe he's talking about the ones who have a fantasy about being a doctor, i wish he does know that this affects every graduate, good or bad. again, why blame our passion?

if the housemanship in Malaysia is getting worse for the reason that unqualified students are eager to become doctors or i suppose had become ones, then create good entry qualifications and strict monitoring of the pre-u standards. MMC should be strict in monitoring quality itself. no, MMC should be a free body to monitor the standards of doctors practising in this country in the first place.

and, why remove medical common exam? it's the only way to segregate the quality students from those sub-par. all developed countries with well structured medical programs must have at least one licensing exam to ensure doctors are of certain quality. also, to maintain the quality of the healthcare system itself. why and why?

get distracted by those pessimistic views feels like being defeated. but, ever heard of: being defeated is often temporary, giving up makes it permanent? i may get distracted, but i'm not giving up.

16: 53, whatever blessings and good things you have, it is from Allah. alhamdulillah, to be arranged in this medical journey itself is a blessing from Him. and so, we hear and we obey. 2:286, this path may be hard, even if one day He took away one of our best abilities or blessings, or perhaps He doesn't fulfill any of our desires, always believe that He knows best.

i am assigned to this responsibility and so i will go on. inna mal a'malu binniat. insyaAllah :)

Thursday, June 9, 2011

instead of preparation for IB, i'd rather talk about feelings :D

alhamdulillah, again and again i'm very grateful that He arranges this journey so perfectly. being offered in international baccalaureate for medicine was indeed my dream and now, it's a reality. insyaAllah.

so these days i've been reading on IB, yet i asked a lot even to the littlest things. *pardon my ignorance, seniors :)*

and through my observations, the most discussed topics were more or less on the level of difficulty itself and schedule conflicts. especially when it comes to assignments like EE, TOK and 150 hours of CAS to be completed over junior and senior years. and truth to be told, i am nervous as well.

1. therefore we tend to keep on feeling ANXIOUS :/
- in spite the nervousness that we already had. in fact, we're more curious to know more, what's this and that and all these are literally from internet specifically through the free web service that i'm using now, Blogger and the most reliable social web ever: Facebook. 3 years back when i'm so eager to enroll myself into boarding school (well put aside my brother's experiences in boarding sch and the rumours), i couldn't even imagine the entire life living with strangers, sharing a room of eight and imagining how my privacy and freedom had lessen. maybe because Friendster didn't do its job of providing informations like Facebook did. :p

the existence of Facebook helps in a way.

and again, why are we nervous?

2. because we're EXCITED :D

we asked this and that, like: are we allowed to do this and that? what are the dos and don'ts? how long is raya holiday and when is it? etc. i am not excluded, of course. but to think back the upcoming 2 years of experiencing it ourselves, why don't we sit back and relax, enjoying every single day left? no.

3. because we're DOOMED :|

lol, that sounds way too much, but frankly speaking, i am afraid. not sure if any of my colleagues experience the same thing.

well, i used to be a timid girl, very, very insecure. i thought too much on what others think of me despite the fact that they're not even noticing me, lol, that's paranoid. but having this 'fear feeling' actually taught me on how to be self-aware, to be careful on how you behave, how you talk to others, how to keep mouth shut whenever you have to. and what am i afraid of? obviously because of the whole new world i'll be facing in less than a month! i'm leaving my family, my friends, my neighbours with dogs and cats who often went berserk out of no where and most of all, my real life here, in tawau. seremban is way too far, mom :(

i'm sorry if i can't adapt to this new life as fast as others need me to. it takes time, but definitely i'll try my best :)

4. because the seniors had gone through it and they're all very POSITIVE :)

thanks seniors for the advices, for the details on IB and A-level, for the pictures of KMS (hehe) and even for the useful links related to IB, you guys helped us a lot! and i'm sorry if we had troubled you guys with our silly questions. *hehe*

thanks =')

so friends, let's make it! put aside the difficulties, the issue on newcastle university twinning program, the probability of flying overseas, the placement after IB etc, because the only thing we ought to think of for the time being is how to survive simultaneously enjoy the life of IB itself.

لاَ يُكَلِّفُ اللّهُ نَفْساً إِلاَّ وُسْعَهَا
Allah only assigns a soul something it can cope with. 2:286

insyaAllah, we're the chosen ones :)