99.99% of songs these days, guess what they're all about?

老实说，现在的生活很好。有一堆好朋友、有一对很好笑的父母、家里还有小姐姐和表妹陪我乱哈拉。其实很满足了。有网友问我，为什么不找男朋友，因为我觉得不需要，不想坏了现在的心情。因为可能就因为男朋友，我会牺牲一些东西。

答案，重要吗？应该说，还重要吗？

或许我将来有一天会后悔，为什么当初不弄清楚一切。也或许有一天，我真的很想知道那一切。可是，对现在的我来说，我清楚我要什么，所以要知足。

the above chinese words are taken from a friend of mine. please, please and please visit her blog if you know mandarin; her blog shows maturity - 灯火阑珊处. she used to be my best friend and yeah, will forever be :D

joey, suk yee, ng san san, and her; tsen mung khie - we're besties since form 1 and that was when we were all respected (haha) by the juniors since we were the prefects as well as the captain juniors. haha, good times yet our zaman kezaliman. (we're so abusive, mind you ;p) but then, we had a huge fight, a really huge one, and soon we took our own path. everyone was happy to see us splitting up but we never felt right about it and eventually, we reverted to our own selves, the most '38' prefects gang ever and again becoming BFF like the so-called-war had never happened. haha.

well, i was interested in the above mandarin words that i've copied and pasted. it literally means this way;

to be frank, what i have now is more than enough. i've a bunch of friends, a pair of funny parents, cousins who've been accompanying me. i'm truly satisfied. but there're some online buddies, who asked me this question; why don't you have your own boyfriend? it's because, i think i don't have to, probably didn't wish to spoil my mood and hurt my feelings. because, only because of boyfriend, i would probably or perhaps lose some other things.

the question is; is it that important? no, it's supposed to be; is it still important right now?

or perhaps i'll regret someday; why didn't make things clear that very moment? or maybe someday, i would really want those lovey-dovey things. however, to who i am now, i am clear with what i want, what i need, therefore i should know how to be grateful.

sorry for the ulala english, direct translation kan, sounds funny. (hey, it took me a long time to find the similar words in english -.-) and yes, this post is about love. and i agreed with the fact that 99.9999% of the songs nowadays are about love, kan? :)

LOVE. what does Islam say about falling in love? is that allowed in Islam? if it is yes, how could we show that to the person we love without causing fitnah? i remember, my ustazah's precious words; love is neither halal nor haram (how i long usrah so much right now) because it is a feeling. maybe it is not under control. you can judge what is under control, but people who fall in love are in many episodes away from the cleansed and pure atmosphere.

"marriages that are usually good and lasting marriages are those that start at the least affection."

as for me, i agreed with tsen mung khie (the person who wrote the chinese words). to be honest i did explore these things, been doing research on it (since i have not much thing to do at home,hehehe). i couldn't say that 'i don't need these things', 'i'm not interested of these things la of course..' or 'these things had never ever come across my mind' and so forth that makes good impressions of yours towards me. i did mistakes and of course someday, somehow, i will make the other mistakes. please, correct me :)

i've had enough with these things, ever since i met some people, some views, just everything about Islam. they taught me how beautiful Islam is, trying to push me closer and closer to my only Creator with their full effort. alhamdulillah i met them (yes, i realise i'm missing them now). they embraced me with the values of Islam. (though it only took our very two years to be together) i just miss everything and i hope we'll soon meet again. ukhwah fillah kan! :D

and bear in mind that this is just my view; warn you! you come with your own accord, and i suppose you read this with your own accord too. seriously this is just my view, no offence. :)

for the time being, you guys can refer to any ustaz or ustazah or even friends as long as it's not opposing the aqidah. believe in yourself that you can always improve yourself, regardless the critics and views from others. you can do it. like NIKE always do, just do it!



my roomates, tapi nda lengkap laa.
from left; ziqa, fera, iswari and me :)


this shot was taken when our ayahanda was about to move back to kelantan. it's a great lost to mrsm tawau, really. i miss him a lot. he always share the beauty of Islam and science. i have to admit he is a really great math and physics tutor yet a really, really caring principal :D


ametis; my homeroom. miss them so much.
they called me 'kaka' but for the guys, they prefer to call me 'sis'
(since i'm the eldest in homeroom. duh! kantoi berumur! ;p)

put aside the ageing matters, we look cute together right? see, i told you we're the cutest homeroome of all. teehee *perasantan ;p
(well, if you do agree, don't hesitate to click on the 'LIKE' below *scroll down ;p)


hah! rindu nyaa makan pizza! by the way, i planned to work at pizza hut, but the manager fussed a lot so i'm planning to try nasib at kfc this monday. wish me luck! :)


we took this group photo right after we successfully finished our programme, Festival Budaya. i received positive feedbacks from teachers and all regarding to this programme. but yeah, without them, i'll never get such compliments. thanks, you guys;
Badan Wakil Pelajar, Lembaga Disiplin Pelajar and my exco kesenian and kebudayaan AJKs :)


drama crews. haha, we were crazy, no we are crazy and will forever be. afzal, alex, nazrin japiril, niza, fera, iswari, ella, intan, fatcat, ray, fikri, arinna, mat nor and aizat! not to forget kak jane, abg eriq, abg hafiz and sir ismail who helped us a LOT. we argued so many times but we eventually found ourselves and mistakes and we won the first runner up for east zone MRSM's dramafest! and surprisingly, (with no hujan and ribut) i was awarded as the best actress! jeng jeng jeng! it goes this way; jeng jeng jengggg, the best actress goes tooooooo; NABILA AZUREEN AZIS as Suri from the drama Immortality!!(heheeee, nda sangka, maybe my sobs went well that time or maybe the judges cried? lol)



and since then, i was called SURI. -.- thank God it didn't turn out to become my new nickname (like some people did,hehe ;p) last but not least, i would like to present you, the coolest class ever; with the title, 'kelas paling sunyi and seram; 5 SAINTIFIK!! (burung gagak lalu dengan suasana yang sepi and sunyi -.-)


cool right? haha *perasantan sekali lagi


inilah jejaka-jejaka yang x seberapa diidamkan honestly (joke ;p). they're pretty cool outside but once you've heard them burst into laughters, you probably would decide to stay away from them. seriously, they can laugh and CLAP HANDS (give applause laa) so LOUDLY for no occassions (didnt quite sure it was for fun or annoying people) and it may cause harm to your eardrum. thank God, none of us turn into deaf.

in my class, some said i'm reserved. well, not really, we get along by the end of the year since we just get together on April, you know like streaming class...'cause before this i was in 5 Kreatif and our teachers made some research and all and we were streamed according to our results.

yeah, back to the 'reserved' thingy, yeah, some of them did really think i am reserved. but nahhh, we're getting closer each month and yeah, i think they're the best classmates ever! i'll post another entry about my class next time, insyaALLAH.


so here we are, the girls (sumandak sumandak) with our beloved add math teacher, sir ridhuan.

hah! another long post i guess. i miss MRSM TAWAU so so much. here's a conclusion. if you think you have it all, be grateful and appreciate them all. put aside the unnecessary things. if they can give you the love that i think is more than enough, why need boyfriend? hehehe, kan? next time la maybe; when i get married ;p *duh! nakal suda. baru habis spm. kehkehkeh ;p



watch this before you leave. subhanallah :)




p/s; took this from my big bro's blog. haha, jangan marah bro! hehe, till then, salam :D

i'm sorry 'cause seriously this entry has no title -.-

holidays just kicked in, well, it's obvious for an SPM candidate like me. it's been mild so far, obviously i have no plans to go anywhere, well for the time being, except being stuck here, in sandakan.

last past few weeks (last month to be exact) had been rough for me i must say. spm and all, you just don't know how it feels if you've not experienced any of it. once i've done with the last paper; Bio paper 3 (on the 8th Disember), i felt so tired yet happy, didn't expect that tense smile could possibly etch on my face but still worrying of the upcoming results. i've learned a lot though; faith, patience, discipline, respect, and definitely relationship with the others, especially with friends, teachers, family and most of all Allah. they had been sticking with me, in good times; bad times. hah, thanks :)


the word in 'love' above is pronounced as 'AI', means, love :)



don't look at these, you'll be laughing at me -.-



but if interested, kindly click to enlarge

hah! it's been a while since i last had my manual blog - diary. now i have it again, so altogether, they're four. haha, good times. it's nice to see what i've written few years back. some were even 4-5 years ago and i'm still in awe. it tickles me deep inside to see how different i've become. the way i write, the way i speak to people and the way i even think, last but not least, the WRITINGS. (turning out to be worse these days). it's amazing really, even though only i have the ability to see the changes. i can see myself grow up. i really do. being matured is another part of the whole thing. in just two years, my maturity have been tested. trying to cope up with others' level of maturity is real HARD! you'll fall, fall into the unseen trap of childishness. trust me.

just when I'm recovering, something always happens to drag me down again. see? but, God won't test us with things we can't handle right? i'll be fine. of course :)

btw, i'm reading again. i have to admit to being a little confused – from the world of vampires in the Twilight Saga we now move to alien life forms invading earth...perhaps Stephenie had gone sci-fi, LOL.

whatever happened to her, she's an incredibly awesome author that i would definitely recommend any of her novels, and you will be hundred percent SATISFIED :) she posseses the ability to pull the reader into the story and allow them to feel like they are actually there with the characters, experiencing what they experience and feeling what they feel. she even paints a vivid picture of the characters and their lives in the mind of every reader who is fortunate enough to be touched by the worlds that she creates. it's like being in 3-d theater but better, its actually more like being in a 6-D theater, touching all of the human senses and emotion at once.

well yeah, this novel does stand up to the standards set by her preceding works. but despite of the creative story line and captivating emotions shown in The Host, i could not stop myself from finding many links between this novel and the Twilight series in regards to the characters, their emotions and their interconnected relationships, everything. Jared, from (The Host) could be very similar to Jacob (Twilight). both have a tendency to let their emotions get the best of them, both are somewhat selfish creatures in regards to the one that they love, and most of all they're extremely stubborn. Ian (The host) and Edward (Twilight) are the same way, comparatively, overly protective and somewhat irrational when it comes to the people that they love, both have the ability to love unconditionally despite the fact that both men love someone of a different species, and both men's brothers try to kill their partners and the greatest character similarity, however, exists between Wanderer/Melanie (The Host) and Bella (Twilight).

read this and you'll find stephanie is the best of all.




besides reading, i need a constant supply of games, just like my sugar supply, i need sufficient supply of ice cream, cakes, cupcakes, red M&Ms, dark/bitter chocolate. but i prefer it in a manual way, 'cause you'll be able to cheat (referring the answer sheets? ;p). haha, no one knows! if they did, why bother? ;p

yes, exactly, SUDOKU is the best of all! :D


papers, mags, templates etc, you'll find the same thing published just at the corner of the sudoku's grid ; sudoku puzzles are based on logic, you do not need to guess where numbers fit to solve the puzzles. fill in each grid so that every row, every column and every 3 times 3 box contains the number one to nine -.-


unlike the vampires, i won't show up at nights. foes, friends and family might be thinking i've had my beautiful dreams in bed, apparently, i slept even later than the owls did. lol. movies marathon, i prefer doing it all by myself. besides, marathon always goes for charity, right? yeah, i'm staying up late just to protect the whole neighbourhood from burglars...that is a charity. ;p

for the record, i had finished 3 korean drama series since the day i'm done with spm; Autumn in My Heart, Boys Over Flower and Master Of Study. looking forward to Kim Hyun Joong's drama series, Playful Kiss? hah, haven't decide to watch it online or just buy the disc. and HBO, MAX and STARMOVIES always have sufficient supply of movies for me, thanks. watched Pearl Habor like for three times. (i'm so in love with danny. hee ;p) and since my sister had a huge crush on daniel radcliffe plus the star movies channel is currently having their movies festive due to the coming christmas, i had to watch harry potter for like hundred times in every series; 'platform nine and three quarter? there's no such thing, is there?' or maybe 'wicked! you're harry potter! so, it's true then, harry potter had come to Hogwarts' (you need to pronounce these in bloody English, then you'll get the mood -.-)

speaking of BLOODY ENGLISH, i remembered 'Wild Child' movie. i've got to watch it all over again, well, it reminds me of boarding school's life :)

by the way, my sister (who's going to be the next top model spm candidate next year) introduced me their brand new form five novel - The Curse.



i wonder; will it be as good as The Pearl, the former novel. once i saw it, i think i liked it right away. i'm not really sure why but i think because of it’s size, number of pages and the COVER. hehe ;p

for the ignorant i am, i never heard of Lee Su Ann before. let alone about the novel being the second prizewinner in the English Novel Category of the Utusan Group’s Young Adult Literature Competition of 2005. but with such tag, i couldn’t help myself from putting high hopes as how good the story would be and though it didn’t exceed my expectation; at least it had met it. exactly, the story was good enough to make me glued to it; turning from page to page without wanting to stop.

bear in mind that this is just my personal point of view of the book; after i‘ve read it. The Curse in summary (trying not to spoil anything -.-) has the elements that i’d love to have in a novel as a whole: thrill and suspense, a bit of horror, a little of romance and a pinch of family drama. besides, it was a compensation for all that comes in the believable portrayal of the rural Malay village and its inhabitants. i think it is very much why i liked it as much as i did.

it was about jealousy, revenge, mulut tempayan and of course, forgiveness. i’m pretty sure that the story would be interesting enough for the juniors, including my sister; that is if they have the will to go through the moderately difficult language, and then they'll have to at least take a glimpse at the former novel, The Pearl (which requires a higher level of proficiency). but i found this novel interesting somehow as the plot a bit messy and difficult with flashbacks all over the story (some from different characters’ point of views). my advice, read this but don't forget to read The Pearl as well :)



besides indoor activities, i did involve into outdoor activities, like tossing the trash into the dustbin OUTSIDE my house, clean up the house compound and BBQ! reminiscing every stupid acts we did during the BBQ (didn't quite remember when) at Yatch Club, to all of a sudden; missing them, my st patricks's folks. they ARE crazy :D

our farewell group photo right after BBQ

well, guess it's way too long for now. till then everyone and good morning! i woke up early just to make this long entry. hihi, and btw, about my trip to Beluran yesterday, it was cool, somehow. it's my first time going there. get to know and to actually see a new place was exactly what i had in mind since holidays began. looking forward to meeting new places and friends. but i think i have to figure out how to get a sufficient budget first -.-


salam :D

when i get so emo -.-

now it's time for slow songs. i miss love-dovey movies. HAHA. for real. -.-
*kenape, tak percayer? ;p

no more long writings, 'cause it's time for songs, but only from movies :)


Joshua Radin feat. Schuyler Fisk - Paperweight
OST Dear John


dislike this one? try this one;

Switchfoot - You
OST A Walk to Remember


Mandy Moore - Only Hope
OST A Walk to Remember


now, try listen to korean movie's soundtracks. i would choose these over k-pop, well, they're just pleasant to hear and now i'm starting to miss my roomates. remember when we watch this until the next morning? hah, good times. hihi ;p

Kim Yoo Kyung - Starlight Tears
OST Boys Over Flowers


Someday - Do You Know
OST Boys Over Flowers


and now, the one and only Korean drama that made my whole family shed buckets of tears. no kidding, i watch this every end of the year, just to clean up some dust in my eyes by crying. still, i'm watching it though it's the 5th time and i memorized the songs. teehee *bangga :)

Reason
OST Autumn In My Heart


Prayer
OST Autumn In My Heart


well, that's just me; movie maniac! love stories? why not! hihi, till then, i've got series of Master of Study to watch. salam! :D

will you marry yourself?

it's exactly one week that i'm home. ignore the title, i'm home! tadaa! :)

okay, why am i into this topic so much - well, it's the hottest topic in maktab, i remember when my friends had been talking or joking about it like we're immune much about it, like 'eh, nanti kao kawin jgn lupa buat event di FB arh!', 'eleh, nanti reunion kahwin empat suda si XXX tu..kehkehkeh', 'ui, boleh sudah kita kawin ne! dialog selepas spm" etc ;p

even in usrah, i still remember, surau gets so noisy, everyone was like, excited much? until we barely realized that the speaker, ustaz or ustazah said 'segala yang baik itu datang daripada Allah dan yang buruk itu daripada anna, maka kita akhiri majlis dengan tasbih kaffarah dan surah al-'asr' ;)


ini tasbih kaffarah yaa sahabat :)



ini pula surah al-'asr yaa sahabat ^.^

so, just moments ago, i watched a kuliah online on the stated topic, by ustaz erfino. i realised my view on marriage needs change. when citations from the Quran is used, i trembled, because they're words from Allah. Astaghfirullah. i know my mindset on marriage need to be changed.

he's a recording of the kuliah online. it's in Malay though, and it's about 2 hours long, but worth the time :)

why not spare some (of your fb-ing & blogging) time to listen to this? hope you find it helpful, as much as I did.

p/s; i took this from a friend of mine. this helped me a lot. thanks :)

paramecium or amoeba?

sometimes my life makes me wish i am an amoeba. it has been hectic since last week. hectic but awesome. *grin*

i had these days of thinking why am i not getting important things done? a few days left for spm and it seems so hard for me to focus on one particular thing and finished it up before proceeding to the others.

urgh, i guess i'm pathetic at prioritizing and can't help but procrastinate. hocus-pocus-focus YIN! okayyyyy, i'm going to start all over again and there's no way to look back.

yin, this november will be just in a blink of an eye, end up this chapter and everything will be over. and high school? never ;)

if i'm in a movie and you are watching me now, press the slow mo button, purrrleasse? i really don't want to end this chapter, especially the moment we played, we sang, we laughed. why does it have to end this way? i wish i could turn back time and start over this high school life, over and over and over again and be forever YOUNG. teeheee, kidding ;p

well, insyaALLAH, i'll do my best for this coming spm. my japan interview will be after spm and for the recent SPC interview, just pray for me people. insyaALLAH.

so here we go, every picture really holds a wonderful story :)


my homeroom, ametis :)



classmates lunch. teehee :)



delicioso! bon appetit! :DD

p/s; thanks for the comment Baku, felt much relieved now. really, i should've taken advices from someone experienced like you at the first place. hihi :)

provoke

get provoked. okay, take a deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breathe and FUHH! i've just finished my interview. unlike the others, it took HALF AN HOUR. seriously. i didn't expect it could be that long. gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..i don't know.

please, anyone who concern, please give me support. is it normal to be more nervous after the interview? is it normal to have a really really long conversation with the interviewers? is it normal to get provoked over and over again???

whatever it is,
don't despair and never lose hope, 'cause Allah is always by your side :)



thanks abah, mummy, friends and teachers for the support. i've tried my best and that's all i can do.

a prep escape ;p

current place; library.

okay, nothing much to rant about life. mock interview was finally over but they haven't get their post mortem yet. well, just a 'fuhhh'.

so tonight i'll do the near-impossible task of organizing + finishing my homeworkS. papers are scattered everywhere, terengganu's trial, melaka's trial, SBP's trial and so forth, i had it all. nose getting too itchy + back hurts. well, nevermind.

speaking about the interview, everything went just fine except for the fact that i had to wear my pseudopodia for HOURS (my 3-inches wedges). well, the best height increasing remedy i must say.

that was yesterday's stuff and today's stuff shocked me. ray JJ (4# guy) and i are chosen to be interviewed for MARA Student Exchange Programme, and you know what, IT WILL BE IN JAPAN!!!!! aishiteru!! :D

this one aint AFS, it is fully SPONSORED and the ultrafiltration aka interview will be held soon. wish me luck guys!


including for the 32-days left terrifying exams. amin :)
btw, i miss home; abah, mummy, kim and qayyum. :(


p/s; this sunday will be the most amazing night ever, my graduation night. wish me luck too guys! :DD

47 years of neglect (same as sosilawati's age ;p)

a shot during konvensyen kepimpinan at mrsm merbok, kedah :)

i was delighted to read an article, 'Time to Address 47 Years of Neglect'. the author did not mince his words or has stuck to the facts.

"It will take more than just granting holidays or constant reassurances of goodwill. Sabah and Sarawak deserve their share of the nation’s wealth and attention. Furthermore, the respective points of the two agreement have to be adhered to."
- Karim Raslan

we are blessed. variety and diversity of ourselves had made us as one, one malaysia. the issue of 16 september had been debated though the fact malaysia was formed on this particular date cannot be disputed.

i was once confused by the proclamation; 'happy birthday, Malaysia' on 31st of August, deluged too with 'happy 53rd birthday, Malaysia' in conjunction with merdeka day this year. i learnt sejarah, indeed, malaysia was about to be formed on 31st of august 1963, but due to the incomplete report that had to be done on time, it was delayed and this leads to the existence of 16th of september 1963, the exact Malaysia Day. malaysia was not formed on the 31st of august, nor is malaysia 53 years old this year.

i'm not attempting to reduce the significance of 31st of august 1957, nor the others, particularly sabahans. it's a historic day and for this matter, it is purely a peninsular phenomenon. insisting on 31st of august as 'national day' and 16th of september as 'malaysia day' doesn't make sense.

well, whatever it may happen, or had happened, it shouldn't be another issue. as a pure sabahan, i'm grateful that government, especially our prime minister for proclaiming Malaysia Day should be celebrated today. his fight against extremism is a good idea. (but i'm not into politic so much, mind you).

niza, me, ang hian ning & jagatheesh

why don't we live like fish and green turtle? one gets meal and the other gets a clean shell (mutualism; a positive reciprocal relationship between two species). like us, their survival is dependent on collaboration.

let's be inspired to make progress with less of 'me' and more of 'we'. this malaysia day, may the spirit of cooperation unite our hearts as we continue to progress as one.

me, jooey & wong suk yee :)
Selamat Hari Malaysia, everyone :)

tennis?

in the midst of eid, we planned to have a slightly different meeting, tennis court meeting. well, to be honest, this is the first time i played tennis, so yeah, here's the story goes.


this is what happened when i tried to treat the tennis ball like a shuttle cock. lol.


and this is when my 'good' friends trying to rescue my tennis ball.


and finally, it landed safely :D


eleena dementieva and the gang. lol.


we played in Fuji Park tennis court, by the way :)


the innocent look after noticing his adidas bottle worthed RM25 was broken.
(jagatheesh, my driver ;p)


billie (left) who's always busy on the line, *banyak girlfriend* ;p


joey, the most '38' girl i've ever met. lol.


after our 1 hour and a half attempt of getting fit, we ended up hanging out in nostalgia. gaining weight, again -.-'


an image of the old cinema in tawau :)


me, joey and yvonne (the barbie doll girl ;p)


our extremely huge apple juice.
we, (3 persons all together) finished it after 2 hours. -.-


me and jag. (mind you, he's not available and he's not mine)


'N' stands for NABILA. ;p


happy looks after eating. :D (this is normal)


well, simple yet meaningful. really hope to hang out with you guys again, some other day maybe? and thanks for the double treat (tennis + food). sweet reminisce, especially on the picking-balls-and-balls-went-missing-at-the-end thing :D

and i had this daughter-and-mom conversation just now. well, it's about girls' stuff. discussion went serious at first and everything goes fine afterwards. i felt a little bit awkward, well, discussing about something serious with my mom, really serious, i mean it. it ended when our rendang for tomorrow got cooked. overall, thanks mommy, that conversation just now, was fun. it's been a while since i last talked to you for that long :)

goodnight and happy eid. can't wait for MRSM's raya tour tomorrow. sleep early guys! salam :D

let pictures talk.