what if i die today?

in Islam, we believe that the present life is a trial in preparation for the next realm of existence. when we die, we are washed and wrapped in a clean, white cloth and buried after a special prayer (sembahyang jenazah), preferably the same day. it's like a final service that muslims can do for the decease and an opportunity to remember that their own existence here on earth is brief.

brief. life on earth is too brief. there's a friend of mine (in my former boarding school), well though i'm not really close to her, but i really love to take a glimpse on her table, since she's sitting near to me. i was doomed when i saw the note 'ingat mati' (means remember death). and to all of a sudden, these few days, i've been thinking on the same thing, what if i die tomorrow, what if i die the next hour, what if i die in a few seconds by now? anything can just happen, with Allah's will.

and when i think and look back into my past, i can't remember how much sins that i've done, how much bad things that i've thought etc. simply because i've done too much of it; how could i just wash it away like we use to when cleaning up the KFC? how could i just cleanse my heart to make it as crystal clear as the heart when i was born last 18 years? ya Allah, i beg for your forgiveness, astaghfirullah.



just imagine yourself after you pass away, imagine your grave through nights and days. you wished you didn't do what syaitans said, you wished that you had got up and had prayed. and imagine the day that you died, imagine all of the tears that the others cried for you, how it felt when your body was tied, how it felt in the grave which you lied. astaghfirullah.

imagine the day you'll be called to account, imagine the sum to which your life will amount. think for a moment of the deeds which you mount, think for a moment how much they will count.

MAROBBUKA? (who is your God?)
MA DINUKA? (what is your religion?)
MA KIBLATUKA? (what is your qibla?)
MA NABIYUKA? (who is your prophet?)
MA KITABUKA? (what is your kitab?)

will i be able to answer them? will my mouth work on that very day? will my good deeds pull me out of the big deep fiery hole? or perhaps my sins are too much that i'll be thrown into that fiery hole. masyaAllah, i need guidance, i need your guidances ya Allah.

yes, Allah, Lord of mankind and jinn. 'think of Allah when tempted to sin, think of the paradise which you will dwell in'. that's what kak murni told me. remember Him, our only Creator. and alhamdulillah, i am really fortune to know you kak murni. thanks for the book once again, alhamdulillah ;)

and andy, i'll make an entry on my working place later, insyaAllah. and sorry for the late post, i'm too busy these days. and to my abang, do take care yaw! remember to skype me yaa! ;D

till then, assalamualaikum! :D

nasi lalap craving - satiated! :D

current mood: extremely happy like never before :DD

while considering what dish to make for lunch today, i've been fighting a serious cold since this morning. so as a result i've been craving for some comfort food; more likely to be spicy and hot (straight from the kitchen!) *woah!* :D

as usual, i asked my dad what to cook and blah blah blahhh -.-
and surprisingly - my dad offered me a treat!!! and it's nasi lalap at my favourite spot! huarghhhhhhhhhhhhh! :DDD


it's double treat babe!
dad drives + dad pays! :D


row of stores in taman semarak :)
(the biggest regency in tawau, huargh! :D)


anddd, here we are!
WARUNG JAWA :D



it's the best best best spot to experience the best quality of food yet paying the littlest to the owner! no government tax charged people! support Java's (Jawa) community since it's Javanese's cuisine! (i'm one of the community too fyi. hehe ;p)

besides char keow teow, my all time favourite food is NASI LALAP. huhh? lalap? or lalat? lalap rice? what theeeee??? chill yaw, for those who're not well awared of this marvelous food, kindly take a glimpse at the pictures below:



yes, that's fried chicken. well, unlike the kentucky fried chicken in kfc's restaurant, this is classic! after all fried food (especially fried chicken) is my ultimate comfort food; though i don't eat it as often for obvious reason, but i love the contrast of the exterior crunchiness and the interior tenderness. while chewing it, even to the tiniest bit, you'll crave for another crispy taste of the chicken. then you'll have no more mercy towards any chicken in this world. when you see them, you wish yourself is a vampire (one of the cullen's to be exact) - grab the chicken and eat it aliveeeeee!! muahahahahahahahaha *evil laugh*

........................


*wait, is it halal?*


-________________-

(the part where 'you grab alive chicken and eat' is of course not halal but nasi lalap is hundred percently HALAL. no worries :D)


the fried chicken and the soup (not in the picture) were as delicious as ever, but without the sauce (sambal) the meal just wasn’t complete. and the only way to know if the items work as a whole meal is to taste the sambal. trust me, if the sambal works; the whole meal will taste perfecto!

let's look back, if you've ever bumped into Java people, or Java's community, or just look at the people in Java, Indonesia itself; most of them have good bodies. i mean; THEY ARE MOSTLY SLIM :D

why? because they're being good to their body. see, even they're eating fried chicken, but simultaneously, they apply raw vegetables into their meal. they'll not only have a better digestion but also improve their skin appearance. and the most effective ways of getting a good skin is to eat RAW EGG. haha, this tastes soooo good :D



last but not least, the major supply of carbohydrates from a well steamed rice. malaysian people always think shedding extra weight is a difficult task. but the fact is that they are not aware of the true fact that one can easily shed their build up fat just by following proper diet, proper exercise as well as more important health supplement.

there's nothing wrong to eat rice, well some would say it provides 2 times of carbs but less energy than what bread offers; but still, we can't simply decline the fact that rice is our main dish. it's okay to eat rice but not too much.

my mom's advice: eat frequent but little. bear in mind to eat enough to feel satisfied, but not overly full.

imagine this perfect meal. savor its flavors. reflect on its health benefits, simply fills your table deliciously and nutritionally. instead of wasting money in high class restaurants, why not having this frugal lunch?

it only costs RM4.00 people (exclusive in Warung Jawa)!
bon apetit! :D



btw, my friends are having their worst boredom ever. they created a secret group. and to my-OH-MY; the name of the group is AYAT-AYAT CINTA. so-not-cool. and i'm accidentally added into that so-jiwang group -.-



salam! :D

goodbye in advance

muahahahaha *extremely evil laugh*

it may sound evil or maybe to those with the highest modesty and courtesy; it's more likely to be a rude manner as for a little girl treating her own brother who's going to spend his next 3 years in the land down under (to pursue his degree in electrical and electronic engineering in university of queensland, brisbane) a week more from now with an advance goodbye? nah, don't get me wrong, i'm still a good sister to a big brother. (well that 'good' doesn't really work on a big sister to a little sister though)

never mind. -.-


so, my mom and him is flying to KL tomorrow; not that he's going to stay there until 18th then he'll fly and leave me and my little sister! *become emo to all of a sudden* well just for a few days. for vacation or some issues on buying his thangs before he gets there i guess.

so; what's the bed time story for today, let's see.



the above picture was taken during last year's eid. i look like macik, no, MATURED (the one who's wearing blue gradient hijab -.-). what can i say; everyone's aging and unfortunately i AM one of the 'everyone'. okay, ignore.

once my brother is there: i'll be definitely doing these 6 compulsory things. seriously.

1. RINGING UP HIM FOR TIMES LIKE SERIOUSLY I'M WORRIED
of course, what else can i do to hear his macho voice? come'on, i love him mann.

2. ECSTATIC MUCH TO EXPERIENCE MY ONCE-IN-A-BLUE-MOON VIDEO CHAT
kesian, seriously i've done this once and it is soooooo COOL *jakun*


4. "QAYYUM, COME'ON, UPLOAD SOME PHOTOS THERE, HELLO??"
trust me, this very sentence will be ignored by my brother. he thinks i'm annoying. haha, I AM :D


5. "ABANG SAYA SUDA FLY PEGI AUSSIE"
wah! this is what i'll answer the-always-asked-questions after 18th feb. *bangga siot*

6. LAST BUT NOT LEAST "HOW'S YOUR UNIVERSITY? STILL IN BANJIR??"
of course i'm worried. brisbane is reeling from its worst flooding since 30 years ago. plus, he's my brother mannnnn. (hek eleh, konon prihatin xp)

people, it's not that i'm proud of him pursuing study to oversea. it's just that having an amusing brother like him, being a sister to an amazing brother like me (well though it sounds the same) makes you feel inspired. instead of reading The Malay Dilemma by Dr Mahathir, i could just be inspired by my own brother; and instead of watching the motivation shows 24/7, i could be just as passionate as he is since he taught me so much on life. he proves to everyone that anything is possible; if only we pray and put our hardest effort on it. he's an achiever, he's always been the one :D

i know my brother has inspired me to be my best now, reach out, be all of who i am and what i can be, share with others and learn from others by connecting with others, like i am here, through my blog and in person.

just for you to know big bro, i am proud of you and really looking forward for your new pics. haha, gotcha! (your profile pic bau hapak daaaa) here's praying everything goes fine, insyaAllah. godspeed big bro! :D


and guess it's not too late for sunday laughs, aite? watch this. this comedian, urm; no, this dude (rude pulak), this guy; nahh, this youtuber is going to aussie too and maybe my bro knew him 'cause they seemed to have the same pre-depart at selangor last last last week i suppose. he's going to sydney if i'm not mistaken; for his TESL degree. hee! he's cool and EXCEPTIONALLY HILARIOUS mannn! check this out:


this is one of my favourite.

he uploaded his latest vid on our natinal anthem: Negaraku. couldn't agree more with his views. just like what my bro said: "budak TESL memang hebat becakap". THEY ARE.

till then readers (bajet nyewwwwww adeww orang bacewwwwwwww blog diewwwww) haha!

oh yeah, cooked this with my mom for lunch today. bon apetit! :D


best eaten with chinese tea or pu er (herbal tea)
due to the current chinese new year celebration.
haha, one malaysia maaa! :D

my homemade seafood vs on-land-organisms (chic + vege) mee curry :D

salam! :D

how to be as young as i am :D

happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me. happy birthday to yiyin, happy birthday to meee. *takes a bow* :D

i’m halfway to 36 now. HEHE! *nods importantly*

not that i look like it, mind you. actually, i look more like halfway to 20, but that’s not the point. *wonders quietly to herself if she even had a point to begin with*

*decides to wing it and go with it anyways*

well, it’s 11:45am on my 18th birthday and i have now spoken with every member of my family. this is somewhat unusual for us since we hardly gather around especially when people in my house are aging. HAHA! mind you. so i’m feeling pretty shiny right now.

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
- Lucille Ball

stay YOUNG?? guess none of you would shake your head and say no this time. gotcha! TEEHEEEE :D

1. LIVE HONESTLY


to be honest means to speak the truth, even if it's difficult or gets you into trouble. honest people communicate in an open, upfront way; they do not lie, cheat, steal, or manipulate information to conceal it from others; they reveal the truth.

but, is there any exception for honesty? are we allowed to tell a "white lie" to protect someone's feelings? i did it too and sometimes i have to, so i do it again. so, as i turn 18, i want to be straight forward and frank but not the harmful way, but a nicer way instead. no more sarcastic me and no more beautiful lies. i'm me and looking forward for a better me! stay true and keep believing to our only creator, Allah swt. insyaAllah.

2. EAT SLOWLY

scratch that, i'll go for EAT LESS :D


as i'm turning 18, and the whole world's scientists had made a huge mistake to the entire subjects standing on our beloved Mother Earth by announcing; girls who once reach the age of 18 will have a constant growth until they reach 60 then they'll have osteoporosis then their height will eventually decrease. whether that theory works or not; i'm going to eat less. watched Dream High; episodes 8 and 9 today - how pilsuk can lose 30 kg for 200 days, it works on my self-esteem *yet i knew it isn't true that she's really fat* -,-

well, let's just say: i'll no longer grow vertically as what i had been doing for my last 18 years of my life but instead, i'll grow horizontally due to the undigested carbs turning into FAT -,-

and thank God i maintained my weight since the last day of spm. i don't really work out; just having some java-slimming-tips from my mom. hehe, and surprisingly, my mom has the same weight as me! imagine how slim she is! (if you know how slim i am, haha) hmmmm, so; guess i should post some of the slimming tips for you guys next entry. *high five* ;p

anyway, eating slowly is one of the ways to lose weight and have a better digestion besides enjoying the whole meal. trust me; slow eating will definitely turn you into a-slim-royal-yet-prissy-princess. it really works! especially when people ask to you to eat quickly, like; "hey you, eat quickly, we're getting late!" then your answer must be: "i'm sorry but i need to eat slowly, to be SLIMMMMMM" *well of course after chewing every bits in your mouth. i have no idea what does that mean. -,- *ignore that*

try work on this. this may help too ;)

"eat breakfast like a princess, lunch like a commoner, and dinner like a beggar"
- Dream High ep 8

3. LIE ABOUT YOUR AGE


recently (last week i guess) Malaysia Hari Ini in tv3 issued on a quite cliche question (well for those aging, of course, am i included?) - "Do You Lie About Your Age?" then, i asked myself: "age doesn't bother you, does it?" did I have to think about it? i'm just going to be 18, age is simply a state of mind, it won't appear on tv or your ID or even on your forehead just to tell the entire world that you're aging!

surely everyone has heard the cliche, "you're only as old as you feel", so i have the guts to ask you, whoever you are, whatever number your age will turn to : "How Do You Feel?" do you wake in the morning and lie there with problems weighing your mind, or do you get up and look out the window or sit on your porch and see the beauty surrounding that has been gifted you?

what we must understand is that, everyone has a past, even a teenager as young as me have my own. there has been losses, pain, misery and mistakes, but how can we move on into the glory of our elder years and enjoy what life still has to offer, if we dwell in the pity of our minds.

DEATH, yes; is inevitable. and we all must leave this wonderful world one day, and even though you may have lost a parent, a friend, a pet, you are still here and must live to the best of your ability. "we all have a purpose and if we don't let go, we will be eaten alive by the ugly old aging monster, bound by pain, wrinkles and a nasty, negative attitude. "be nice to people and be nice to yourself." that's what my dad told me, that's why he didn't look like a half-decade-man (even though that's his real age. hehe. oopps! ;p)

so i have to ask you, "How Do You Feel"? that will determine your age. lying about your age? nah, i'll stick for the first tip: 1. LIVE HONESTLY. besides, it's just a number, a state of mind ;)


so, how to be as young as an-18-years-old-but-look-more-like-10 like ME?? xD

try #1 and #2. ignore #3, it's harmful, to your soul especially. remember to cleanse our heart everyday, even by doing the littlest thing - whenever you bump into rubbish, pick it up, throw it into dustbin and say alhamdulillah! it could make your day a lot more meaningful. trust me, i've done that one! save our mother earth :D

almost forget; thanks for all the birthday wishes guys. and a BIG-BIG-MANSION thanks to my family for celebrating my birthday with homemade steamboat and special thanks to my big bro for buying the most expensive birthday cake i've ever had in my life! and not to forget my birthday celebration with my beloved teacher yesterday, we had a blast! :D

salam! :D

p/s: sorry for the grammatical and spelling errors. too lazy to check on that. zzz -,-

the film series: The Arrivals

to all of a sudden; i remembered how The Arrivals had become youtube hit and form 5 students' next top issue to talk to, last year. we tend to be so curious about the whole thing, especially this one classmate of mine, afiq; how he asked so many questions to ustazah, how he become so fanatic about it etc. he even worked as a part-time translater to the audience everytime they (the boys) get to watch it.

for the ignorant i am, i watched the film series anyway due to to the so-called-phenomenon in maktab. the 50 part film centers around the arrivals of the Dajjal (or AntiChrist as he is known in Christianity and Judaism) and Imam Mahdi. the arrivals of both dajjal and Imam Mahdi are major signs of the approach of Yawmal Qiyamah (day of Judgement).

unlike any other publication on dajjal, Imam Mahdi or the other major signs The Arrivals shows how dajjal has possibly already arrived and how he may have already lead you astray. the filmakers (production); Noreaga and Achenahr as they call themselves, have a well researched theory about freemasons preparing for the arrival of their god, satan and dajjal, by conditioning the world to indulge in consumerism and materialism.

let's face it; look at our modern day society and its consumer-mindedness is mostly unIslamic. tv shows, pop music, celebrity worship, the robot-like following of fashion, the unrealistic ideas of beauty all promote a society in which religion has no place. even homosexuality is commonplace. a woman's sensual beauty is a mere tool for advertising. religious figures are mocked, while Madonna's stage antics are a slap in the face for catholicism. it's everywhere. i could vividly recall ustazah's words; "religious morals are seen as outdated. it's hard to be avoided, because it's everywhere." even ustazah said so. hurm.

for the first time hearing about it, it sounds like yet another far-fetched conspiracy theory involving freemasonry. i am no conspirator, nor do i easily listen to anything that has the words UFOs and freemasons in it. (speaking of UFO; click this: "UFO hovers over Jerusalem")

okay, i was even sceptical about this film series. but as i watched the first few parts of it, there were facts it brought up that i couldn't argue against. it was disconcerting.



they present the theory to you as it's not the absolute truth, but something to make you think and consider conducting your own further investigation. whether you believe the film or not, is up to you.


but there's one thing i couldn't deny: the entire world is either steeped in one system, or they are racing to join it. and that system has ideals and morals that are wholly unIslamic.

when i realised that, i no longer wanted to be a part of it. as much as possible i wanted to stay out of it.

that's what put all my struggles with hijab, Islam in general, into perspective. i was stepping into that system and way of life during my 'rebellious years'. after The Arrivals i recognised the system for what it was: the path of those who are lead astray. and it's our own choice to simply become one of them or to deny it.


"I seek refuge in Allah from the outcast Satan
In the name of Allah, the most Beneficient, the most Merciful
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.
The Beneficient, the Merciful.
Master of the Day of Judgement.
Thee alone do we worship, Thee alone do we ask for help.
Show us the straight path,
The path of those whom Thou hast favoured,
Not the path of those who have earned Thine anger,
nor of those who have gone astray."

amin


insyaAllah, may all of us try to look at the signs, all around us; doesn't it prove enough? and bear in mind, don't think too much about something, especially how the nature works, the origins of nature etc, because; everything happens to us through the will of Allah.

like how i met to a sister; who's currently pursuing medic in University of Jordan. well, we haven't met yet, but through the conversations we had in skype and phone; she taught me a lot. especially on how Islam becomes not only our faith but our lifestyle as well. may Allah bless her and her entire family. hee :D

and let's pray for all Malaysians who are still in Egypt, and for Egypt as well as Muslims' right and justice. amin.

salam! :D