47 years of neglect (same as sosilawati's age ;p)

a shot during konvensyen kepimpinan at mrsm merbok, kedah :)

i was delighted to read an article, 'Time to Address 47 Years of Neglect'. the author did not mince his words or has stuck to the facts.

"It will take more than just granting holidays or constant reassurances of goodwill. Sabah and Sarawak deserve their share of the nation’s wealth and attention. Furthermore, the respective points of the two agreement have to be adhered to."
- Karim Raslan

we are blessed. variety and diversity of ourselves had made us as one, one malaysia. the issue of 16 september had been debated though the fact malaysia was formed on this particular date cannot be disputed.

i was once confused by the proclamation; 'happy birthday, Malaysia' on 31st of August, deluged too with 'happy 53rd birthday, Malaysia' in conjunction with merdeka day this year. i learnt sejarah, indeed, malaysia was about to be formed on 31st of august 1963, but due to the incomplete report that had to be done on time, it was delayed and this leads to the existence of 16th of september 1963, the exact Malaysia Day. malaysia was not formed on the 31st of august, nor is malaysia 53 years old this year.

i'm not attempting to reduce the significance of 31st of august 1957, nor the others, particularly sabahans. it's a historic day and for this matter, it is purely a peninsular phenomenon. insisting on 31st of august as 'national day' and 16th of september as 'malaysia day' doesn't make sense.

well, whatever it may happen, or had happened, it shouldn't be another issue. as a pure sabahan, i'm grateful that government, especially our prime minister for proclaiming Malaysia Day should be celebrated today. his fight against extremism is a good idea. (but i'm not into politic so much, mind you).

niza, me, ang hian ning & jagatheesh

why don't we live like fish and green turtle? one gets meal and the other gets a clean shell (mutualism; a positive reciprocal relationship between two species). like us, their survival is dependent on collaboration.

let's be inspired to make progress with less of 'me' and more of 'we'. this malaysia day, may the spirit of cooperation unite our hearts as we continue to progress as one.

me, jooey & wong suk yee :)
Selamat Hari Malaysia, everyone :)

tennis?

in the midst of eid, we planned to have a slightly different meeting, tennis court meeting. well, to be honest, this is the first time i played tennis, so yeah, here's the story goes.


this is what happened when i tried to treat the tennis ball like a shuttle cock. lol.


and this is when my 'good' friends trying to rescue my tennis ball.


and finally, it landed safely :D


eleena dementieva and the gang. lol.


we played in Fuji Park tennis court, by the way :)


the innocent look after noticing his adidas bottle worthed RM25 was broken.
(jagatheesh, my driver ;p)


billie (left) who's always busy on the line, *banyak girlfriend* ;p


joey, the most '38' girl i've ever met. lol.


after our 1 hour and a half attempt of getting fit, we ended up hanging out in nostalgia. gaining weight, again -.-'


an image of the old cinema in tawau :)


me, joey and yvonne (the barbie doll girl ;p)


our extremely huge apple juice.
we, (3 persons all together) finished it after 2 hours. -.-


me and jag. (mind you, he's not available and he's not mine)


'N' stands for NABILA. ;p


happy looks after eating. :D (this is normal)


well, simple yet meaningful. really hope to hang out with you guys again, some other day maybe? and thanks for the double treat (tennis + food). sweet reminisce, especially on the picking-balls-and-balls-went-missing-at-the-end thing :D

and i had this daughter-and-mom conversation just now. well, it's about girls' stuff. discussion went serious at first and everything goes fine afterwards. i felt a little bit awkward, well, discussing about something serious with my mom, really serious, i mean it. it ended when our rendang for tomorrow got cooked. overall, thanks mommy, that conversation just now, was fun. it's been a while since i last talked to you for that long :)

goodnight and happy eid. can't wait for MRSM's raya tour tomorrow. sleep early guys! salam :D

let pictures talk.

it's yin, not rin :p

now, let's see, everyone might probably busy on the line, chatting with their love ones, or maybe in the kitchen cooking rendang, or sitting outdoor just to wait for the lemang to get cooked, or worse; staring at the wardrobe figuring out what to wear tomorrow. hey, it's eid. salam aidilfitri, everyone :)

i am in the other hand. i'd be rather sleeping early just to avoid my puffy and baggy eyes become worse tomorrow. gahh, everything's done, my rendang, house chores, invitations, perfect. so before naturally recurring altered state of consciousness with relatively suspended sensory activity (sleeping), i would like to fulfill a friend's request since he already kept his part of the deal, well, perfectly i must say ;P

my life is like an arrangement, everything was partially drafted and still, is planned. i am living my mom's dream, well, many people would say;'since i was young' but i would rather say 'since i was a foetus'. (this is serious, mind you :p)

along my mother's pregnancy, my mother was offered comprehensive care from a doctor, a Burmese. she took care of everything. my mom was a nurse too that time, so they're bound to meet each other so frequently. she loved to ask about my mom's health including ME (which is still living in the womb :D). she was married to a doctor too and had a wonderful marriage. that happy couple soon tried to have a baby a few years back then but unfortunatly, they failed. their marriage came to an end.

no one knows how it feels to live alone. she had to travel so far just to continue her life, literally escaped from the nightmares she had in Burma. right after i was born, her wounds healed so much faster, it's like her huge amount of fibrinogen was converted into fibrin in no time and seal all the wounds.

i was named after the combination of sultan perak's daughter's name, azureen and the beautiful meaning of the name nabila, which means clever by my abah. (thanks abah :D) soon after, i was given a second name by my mom; yin, which means silver in chinese. that was the burmese doctor's name. once again, i was named after a person, and she's a doctor. she was a tough woman, determined and caring. she even treated me like her own baby but then she moved back to Burma and i didn't even have a chance to have a real sight of her.

this name probably a rememberance of Dr Yin or maybe a reminder in assembling the reality for my custodians to see me becoming a successful doctor. well, they just want to procure a fluorish future of mine after being shot down by my big bro for choosing engineering instead of medicine. but no worries, i love blood and starting to love biology. thanks mummy and abah :)


MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN, HALAL KAN MAKAN MINUM
SINGGAH GAK RUMAH KALAU BERKESEMPATAN LAGI :)

is seventeen old enough?

i'm wide awake, it's morning. i'm singing like a canary despite being in a bedwarming mood. insomniac thing, crazy, but seriously i can't sleep. i didn't expect this sleep deprivation thing gets worse.

i had this thought which repeatedly crosses my mind; don't surpass my capacity for responsibility. over the years, this capacity has grown, but the results of exceeding it haven't changed.

my capacity is exceeded gradually, through the accumulation of simple, spm's preparation + daily tasks.

but a few times a year, i spontaneously decide that i'm ready to be a real, matured teen. i don't know why i decide this; it always ends terribly for me. but i'll do it anyway. i sit myself down and tell myself how am i going to start knowing people in a wider range in a real world (exception of facebook,myspace etc social net), how am i suppose to adapt in another real world after this, how am i going to overcome problems without fuzzy duvet after this.

my schedules are drafted. but what will be next? day-planners are all purchased. i'll be stocking up on fancy food 'cause i'm planning on morphing into a master chef and actually cooking instead of just eating in dewan selera like i used to. i'll get prepared for my new life as a maturer teen like some people prepare for their marriage. haha.



the first day or two of my plans usually goes, just fine.

for a little while, i actually feel grown-up and responsible. i strut around with my head held high, looking the other responsible people in the eye with that knowing glance that says "i understand. i'm responsible now too. just look at my groceries." haha.

at some point, i start feeling self-congratulatory :)



this is a mistake.

i begin to feel like i've accomplished my goals. it's like i think that adulthood is something that can be earned like a trophy in one monumental burst of effort and then admired and coveted for the rest of one's life.

what usually ends up happening is that i completely wear myself out. thinking that i've earned my effort, i give myself permission to slack off for a while and recover. since i've exceeded my capacity for responsibility in such a dramatic fashion, i end up needing to take more recovery time than usual, like studying at the eleventh hour again. this is when the guilt-spiral starts.

that little over-confident was a procrastination.

at some point in this endlessly spiraling disaster, i am forced to throw all of my energy into trying to be excelled again, just to dig myself out of the pit i've fallen into. the problem is that i enter this round of attempted not-to-study-so-much already burnt out from the last round. everything just didn't work.

it always ends the same way; starts everything all over and again, like reading Biology from the first chapter a night before exam. slumped and haggard, i contemplate the seemingly endless tasks ahead of me.


i miss sm st patrick



i'll miss mrsm tawau



SELAMAT BERPUASA, PEOPLE :)

desperate.

everybody says they're home. so yeah, me too, i'm home. great. guess what? this awful phrase had been repeating since my 'enrollment' into boarding school, or should i say; that creepy freaky namby-pamby prison? nahh, its fasting month, so no ghosts.

first of all, i hate my blog's template. it's pink and most of all, it doesn't really sounds, or look like me. okay, no one will actually understand me, neither will i. and second, it doesn't display the exact date of my entries, how could i recall everything? i'm an absent-minded for-any-concerns'-information. so now, my life leaves no more mercy, goodbye old template and say hello to the new one :D *well though i havent find any suits for the time being*

secondly, *did i mention 'second' just now? i've just finished my damn-hard+difficcult+brainstorming-easy+lazy=bunchofpaperswhichidontknowthepurposeoftheirexistence. i hate exams 'cause it brings no life. since the last three weeks, my roomates and even my juniors said the same thingto me; 'you're lifeless'. i disagreed, i'm halflived. *another influence from physics paper. overall, i think i screwed the papers. HAHA, i hate exams. -.-

thirdly, i hate my big bro. owning such sophisticated gadget aka iPod touch but indulging into truancy for not attending class for like 3 days is a NO-BIG-FAIR to an innocent sister like me. gahhhh, my mom bought him iPod touch from UK which i've been craving for lke the rest of my life? HAHA, very funny. still, i want that thing. -.-'

fourthly, i am out of money. my pocket money aka allowance had been officially cut off due to some economic overboard usage of money. okay, i spent too much money for the last three months, Pendang, Merbok and some miscellaneous personal spending of mine, hey, it's unavoidable. plus, i've been spending on online shawls, they're adorable! teehee :) well, i have some savings though. 'save for the rainy days', haha, this idiom works :)

lastly, just want to say thanks bloggie for being the only devoted companian along my desparate way. i love you :D