the unexpected smoking guy

the age old debate; are smoking men sexy or nasty? O.o


does this look sexy to you?

nahh, for an 18-year-old-girl like me, the first question was supposed to be: "why do men smoke?" *now that sounds nerd* -.-

well, i'll never have that guts to really ask the chain smokers why but i'm quite sure that i'll get a variety of answers from them. it's really difficult to find a single answer about the reasons of smoking, it's like; people have valid reasons for smoking and more or less they enjoy smoking. err, yeah, "enjoy". the feeling of ease and pleasure after smoking that they can do their job easily and more comfortably. like, they have to follow some kind of smoking-schedule-routinely, then they'll call it as a REAL LIFE.

weird, strange, and "WHY???!!!!". yes, still: WHY DO THEY SMOKE??

1. for any-health-concious-homosapien-on-earth would say:
"they're addicted and can't help themselves. that's the only reason."

2. for temporary-smokers-like-they're-not-going-to-be-addicted would say:
"alas, it's not like we're going to die instantly. i'm not a heavy smoker though. i smoke slim cigarettes. i just really like it, care much?"

3. for forever-and-ever-smokers-like-he'll-never-let-them-go-even-for-one-single-second would say:
"we are all going to die at some point. i've had so many friends die at a very early age, not related to tobacco, which i realized to do the things in life that i like to do. i won't die worrying when the sky is going to fall, i love smoking."

see? when we get to compare these three answers, there's one obvious reason; clearly because they are living their life to the fullest, BUT with their own ways.



......................................



wait, am i encouraging people smoking?

the history few years back changed my perception towards any smoking guy. my grandfather left us just because of this tiny little monster: cigarette. but before he left us, that cigarette left him first. yes, he had this sudden-stop-smoking, and that's what took away his live.

until yesterday, i saw a friend took out a pack of cigarettes, removing a cigarette, and lighting it, and yes: he had that almost ritualistic satisfaction, exactly like my grandpa used to. i was helpless, i did nothing but peek. i spoke nothing and ignored. i was completely a useless friend. but who am i to stop him? was that really him? standing there smoking??

i have no idea.



please, please don't smoke guys. you can still be a manly guy without cigarette. chill yawww~ =D

assalamualaikum! =D

goodbye in advance

muahahahaha *extremely evil laugh*

it may sound evil or maybe to those with the highest modesty and courtesy; it's more likely to be a rude manner as for a little girl treating her own brother who's going to spend his next 3 years in the land down under (to pursue his degree in electrical and electronic engineering in university of queensland, brisbane) a week more from now with an advance goodbye? nah, don't get me wrong, i'm still a good sister to a big brother. (well that 'good' doesn't really work on a big sister to a little sister though)

never mind. -.-


so, my mom and him is flying to KL tomorrow; not that he's going to stay there until 18th then he'll fly and leave me and my little sister! *become emo to all of a sudden* well just for a few days. for vacation or some issues on buying his thangs before he gets there i guess.

so; what's the bed time story for today, let's see.



the above picture was taken during last year's eid. i look like macik, no, MATURED (the one who's wearing blue gradient hijab -.-). what can i say; everyone's aging and unfortunately i AM one of the 'everyone'. okay, ignore.

once my brother is there: i'll be definitely doing these 6 compulsory things. seriously.

1. RINGING UP HIM FOR TIMES LIKE SERIOUSLY I'M WORRIED
of course, what else can i do to hear his macho voice? come'on, i love him mann.

2. ECSTATIC MUCH TO EXPERIENCE MY ONCE-IN-A-BLUE-MOON VIDEO CHAT
kesian, seriously i've done this once and it is soooooo COOL *jakun*


4. "QAYYUM, COME'ON, UPLOAD SOME PHOTOS THERE, HELLO??"
trust me, this very sentence will be ignored by my brother. he thinks i'm annoying. haha, I AM :D


5. "ABANG SAYA SUDA FLY PEGI AUSSIE"
wah! this is what i'll answer the-always-asked-questions after 18th feb. *bangga siot*

6. LAST BUT NOT LEAST "HOW'S YOUR UNIVERSITY? STILL IN BANJIR??"
of course i'm worried. brisbane is reeling from its worst flooding since 30 years ago. plus, he's my brother mannnnn. (hek eleh, konon prihatin xp)

people, it's not that i'm proud of him pursuing study to oversea. it's just that having an amusing brother like him, being a sister to an amazing brother like me (well though it sounds the same) makes you feel inspired. instead of reading The Malay Dilemma by Dr Mahathir, i could just be inspired by my own brother; and instead of watching the motivation shows 24/7, i could be just as passionate as he is since he taught me so much on life. he proves to everyone that anything is possible; if only we pray and put our hardest effort on it. he's an achiever, he's always been the one :D

i know my brother has inspired me to be my best now, reach out, be all of who i am and what i can be, share with others and learn from others by connecting with others, like i am here, through my blog and in person.

just for you to know big bro, i am proud of you and really looking forward for your new pics. haha, gotcha! (your profile pic bau hapak daaaa) here's praying everything goes fine, insyaAllah. godspeed big bro! :D


and guess it's not too late for sunday laughs, aite? watch this. this comedian, urm; no, this dude (rude pulak), this guy; nahh, this youtuber is going to aussie too and maybe my bro knew him 'cause they seemed to have the same pre-depart at selangor last last last week i suppose. he's going to sydney if i'm not mistaken; for his TESL degree. hee! he's cool and EXCEPTIONALLY HILARIOUS mannn! check this out:


this is one of my favourite.

he uploaded his latest vid on our natinal anthem: Negaraku. couldn't agree more with his views. just like what my bro said: "budak TESL memang hebat becakap". THEY ARE.

till then readers (bajet nyewwwwww adeww orang bacewwwwwwww blog diewwwww) haha!

oh yeah, cooked this with my mom for lunch today. bon apetit! :D


best eaten with chinese tea or pu er (herbal tea)
due to the current chinese new year celebration.
haha, one malaysia maaa! :D

my homemade seafood vs on-land-organisms (chic + vege) mee curry :D

salam! :D

treat girls RIGHT!

now it's girl-to-girl-talk; have you ever feel unsecured? invisible? or like a fat beast? an ugly skank? has anyone ever talk bad about you? and have you ever talk something bad behind them? abusing and being abused. regardless of what it looks like; essentially feeling abused might actually really human. almost everyone feels it, almost everyone goes through it, but not everyone talks about it. which really proves the point that 'abuse' is more about the person feeling it, than whom or what they're abused of.

1. YOU FAT BEAST!
oh, that's way too hush. scratch that; perhaps you've heard of 'you look chubbier now!', 'you're so cute!', 'you're pretty but you should gain a little weight than it'll be okay'. hold on; OKAY??? what does it mean by that OKAY?? i'm skinny? or i'm fat??

well, i can say that the most popular new year's resolution is to lose weight. everyone is beating up themselves just to be as hot as Kim Kardashian or maybe Yuri SNSD. i am definitely not excluded. but if you look back and think; no matter how fat one is, you can't convince them to go for The Biggest Loser just to lose weight! how about the shame? how are they going to face the whole society? how does the society will treat them next? no; the question is; has the society ever consider how they actually feel?

when you said to someone that may look like a joke, either you mean it or not, like; "every time she hits the ground, the earth shakes!" HAHA, that's so funny - not; that's humiliating. some would go for the invisible tease, like; "you look good in dress." but actually you're not. imagine if she takes the so called compliments seriously; she'll wear it on. then most of the people stared at you like you're an alien sent from Mars. would you mind? or you won't? it's so easy to say 'who cares?' yeah, who cares? i care.

remember it's a girl-to-girl talk. sometimes the magazines specifically the teens magazines would easily go for; 'be cool' or 'ignore them' even if you're not? of course, it works on increasing your self-esteem but does it work on healing your feelings? girls, it's MEAN to ask you to mind others' words. IT IS. but there're times you should listen and you shouldn't. simple. look at this sentence;

"you know what, you're fat. like seriously; you have to lose weight immediately or else you'll be the fattest teenager of the year! maybe it's a gene-thing of being fat because your dad looks chubby somehow."

now this is abusive. you can't just simply accept people insulting your family, especially your parents just because you're fat. let's see; what you should listen and what you should not;

"you know what, you're fat. like seriously; you have to lose weight immediately or else you'll be the fattest teenager of the year! maybe it's a gene-thing of being fat because your dad looks chubby somehow."

if this doesn't work on you; it destroys you! you'll burst into tears, deep in your heart; "no one would care if you jumped off a cliff, so why don't you?"

no, don't jump. you know what, they're destroying you with those 'fat beast' phrases just because they thought you're an easy target to make fun of. is it worth enough to just die because some kind of jerks make fun of you? let them be and all you have to do is find the right way of losing weight and prove to them that;



indeed they're ugly! they mind others' body but they dare not to look at their own faces because you know what; they're ugly! hahahahaha *evil laugh*

2. YOU UGLY SKANK WITH NO BOYFRIEND!
now what? abuse me with boyfriend again? told you i don't need boyfriend!



bravo and kudos to yourself who recognized that you do not need a boyfriend but a real man in your life :)

it takes courage, and self-confidence to not cave to pressures to go out there and find a boyfriend. look, we don't need to find our identity or be defined as to who we are by having to linked with a boyfriend. because; there's a great difference between needing a boyfriend and wanting a man in her life.

indeed every girl wants a man in her life. the long answer is she will want a man, when the time in her life makes her ready for a special man. toy boys need not apply.

yeah, that UGLY fact may apply for why i'm not having boyfriend. the other girls-with-no-boyfriend-yet-living-happily and i may look ugly now but someday; we believe there's always a true man sent by Allah who would realise how beautiful we are. well, of course they're not malaikat but they're our husbands :)

let's just say; it's a self-reliance and the will power to learn and see projects through on our own; taking care of our health and personal growth without needing the approval or permission of any male (except our father). doesn't this demonstrate young womens' strong spirit? what else makes a girl to be admired other than her independant spirit? :D *bangga bangga*

guess the boys reading this would get the message, that independant girl is not a trophy to be won, nor will she simply offer herself to a male. she's priceless and too expensive to get. she's totally unavailable. now every girls-with-no-boyfriends; no, scratch that, let's call ourselves - independant girls, give ourselves the biggest applause for being true to ourselves :D

bear this in mind; if you think a man respects you for who you are, he won't beg you to be his girlfriend, he won't pollute you with his sweet talk, he won't buy you with prosperity but he'll propose you to be his wife :D

insyaAllah; marriages that are usually good and lasting marriages are those that start at the least affection. be a true love believer 'cause true love waits :)

salam! :D

almost heart attack -,-

as the sun stretches out its golden rays and begins to climb into the sky, its glorious morning light makes the clouds blush in a swirl of purple and orange. oh, unlike the days had passed, the cock next door declined to give its daily speech. no, it didn't exist today, left in sandakan apparently. thank God, but i was wide awake; even though last night i remembered i was insomnia. but, i wouldn't wake my mom from her slumber; thought it was too early to be awaken.

i grabbed my watch instead of alarm clock like i used to. looked into the figures on it but unfortunately there's no figure. after a few seconds of interpreting; oh my, oh myyy!!! i screeched. *worse than that i think*



10.47???? a.m or p.m??? @*(#^*&$%&^#!!!
"mumyyyy!! we're late!! wake up mom!!! we'll miss our flight, uncle useh is waiting downstairs, we need to check out...i haven't packed my things...blah blah...etc"

my mom was so cooooool -,-
(like seriously, she has never been cool that way -,-)
"it's still early la yin. look at the phone (my mom's mobile phone)" lending me that mobile with her full confidence. -,-
me: "no mom. it's 10.45am!!!!" O.O

..................



my mom's mobile number shows 0417. okay, stop. it has been a while since i attended add math class, really. worked on math problem? last year maybe. haha. no, it's not funny. i was confused, i was right. i've always been the right one. so i told my mom her phone rosak. then my mom switch on the entire lights in the room we rented; proving that she's right.

apparently she is. it's 4.17am. -________________-




HAHA -,-
my watch turned upside down. no, i turned my watch upside down. -____________-

so here i am now, calming myself down from an-almost-heart-attack; at KKIA - MAS Golden Launge, consuming my breakfast. the place is soo good, it's newly opened. much much better than the KLIA's one. *bersyukur* :D



they provide buffet, television, free-computer-usage, restrooms (of course) magnificient view (really) etc...and WiFi :DD


why they always have pin codes mann, hotel also the same -,-. give unsecured wiFi maa, baru generous. look at airaisia; always says everyone can fly; MAS can also improve; like, EVERYONE CAN ONLINE :D (nice kan? haha)


yummy breakFATS. -,-

flight to KL is at 10am something. cant wait to meet my big brother (si pencuri chocolate saya). hehe, miss him so much! till then, pray for my safe journey :)


captured this from today's Borneo Post

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR PEOPLE and happy advanced birthday to me. hehehe. >,<
salam :D

two and a half movies in a row :)

you're alone, you always think you're a loner, you'll never get along with people; well, you said that. but have you ever said that you need a replacement? you need someone similar with that person you've been missing? you missed somebody and that's not alone; but lonely.

i thought it's plausible to just forget people, when they went to boarding school, to overseas or maybe; to death. moans and groans, still; those never matched my life but i am not the one who decides. love and loss, that's what i thought. the feelings? i've never thought of them to approach, they just dropped by as if the wind blows each time we stopped to converse.

the lump in my throat just kept growing and growing. i practically had to force it down when i watched My Sister's Keeper last night, just to prevent my mom from hearing me sob (even though i knew my mom was actually sleeping). well, who knows my sobs would wake her from her slumber and i know that would definitely throw me off. i was ego, no; i am ego :\

this real world; people come and go, there's no such thing like touch and go, really. death is not separation but it's a return. don't cry when they're gone, smile because they're loved. love each and every creatures who are living with us, or leaving us or even those who had left us.




why am i so emo? don't ask. bad influences from HBO. -,-
oh yea, the other one and a half movies are Antara Garisan (Astro Ria) and half of When In Rome (Star Movies) - since i watched My Sister's Keeper for the first half an hour, hehe ;)



and now, kindly take a glimpse on my new-hand-made-layout. simple and love it. no more heavy gadgets on this page, crossed-finger :D


songs of the week :)

by the way, good news. terengganu people; please get ready, i'm on my way! so to KK and KL folks, it's shopping time! (well, even though year end sale is over now) it's better late than never! :D


salam :D

how i wish i'm still going to school -.-

so today's stuff went well, the birds were chirping like usual, as well as the dog next door, went berserk (like usual) for no reasons, neighbours were still doing their own things and ignored others' but i am way too far from the usual. after subuh, i decided to sleep back as my head went dizzy and all i had to do is to sleep back. (redundancy:sleep back)

soooo, here's the thing. 3 hours later; i woke up. it was 8, checked up my fb and got downstairs. mumy and abah were going somewhere and surprisingly, unlike usual; my big bro dressed up himself way too early (well, earlier than he used to be); and apparently, they were all leaving the house. well, i did ask why and what but nahh, my head was too dizzy to digest all the details. so, i don't know why (until now). -.-

soooo, i went to the kitchen and be prepared to consume anything's prepared as breakfast. (redundancy:prepared) well well well, delicious nasi goreng with colourful texture that will definitely kills anyone's hunger to just TASTE IT was there, i mean;on the dining table, just there...right in front of MY OWN NAKED EYES!! CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE??!! -.- and i just couldn't stop staring but those interneurones of mine kept transmitting signals to my brain; "just take a plate and EAT IT!!"


but i've been gooooood; i've never thought of finishing all by myself, right? ;) (hehe) sooo, i called my sister :)
(kind-hearted me, kan kan kan? ;) )

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


come'on, why don't you just get down here and EAT??!! heloooo??? that diet excuse won't work anymore!! you're NOT FAT!!! now come down and EAT!!


-.-




grrrr, you're skinny laa kim, you want to get any skinnier??!! -.-







-_______________________-







as the black crow passed by with some loud crow sound;cawing?
i dont know laa -.-






plus, the crickets' singing..wait..during daytime??



-_______________-






am i dreaming like they did in Inception??





-_____________-

real me : "no i'm not."

dreaming me : "can i have my own totem to test if this is real or not??!!"

real me : -_______________-''

dreaming me : "WHAT??!!!" (sounds so serious like kononnya kena offer belakon dgn leonardo d caprio dlm inception -.-)

real me : "do you know how you get here?? How you're actually here??? where were you just now?? how come you're here??!!" (like my bricks of house is going to crack into pieces or something and all the subconscious of leonardo d caprio is staring at me)

dreaming me : -___________________-

real me : "YOU'RE NOT DREAMING, YIN"

dreaming me : "so where is MY SISTER??!!!"

real me : "SHE WENT TO SCHOOL laaa..double idi*t"

dreaming me : -___________________-

real me + dreaming me : "ya kann, today's school day -.-. then, what for wait? EAT LAAA.. -.-"

soooo, yeah, I ATE. -.-



moral of the story; stop daydreaming -.-
to make sure you're dreaming or not, search for totem


-___________-




-.-



p/s: you'll only understand the story if you've watched Inception, if you haven't, don't read this, you've wasted your precious, golden, silver, ruby, amethyst, diamond time. hehe, but do watch the movie 'cause this movie was like; the best 2010 movie i've ever seen!! :D

YOU REALLY HAVE TO WATCH IT. IT'S AWESOMEEEEE! O.O





and yeah, how i wished i'm still schooling today. this definitely wouldn't happen, kan? haha, but i did spend my time on something useful, likeeee; COOKING FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY, all by myself! teeheeeeee :D

bon appetit! :)


fried sliced fish with three different yet perfectly combined flavours :D
in BM; we call it - ikan tiga rasa -.-
(not interesting kan? ignore ignore -.-)




well, western people serve western lamb chop.
but tawau people serve TAWAU PAYAU CHOP. HEHE, go tawauu!! :D





the healthiest vegetable on earth yet is disliked by most of the children because of its colour texture and taste?? mustard green?
HEHE, give this to your children and they'll like it RIGHT AWAY!
TEEHEEEE :D




and there! the dinner's READY!! tadaaaaa! now, bon appetit people!


till next time. salam :D

is seventeen old enough?

i'm wide awake, it's morning. i'm singing like a canary despite being in a bedwarming mood. insomniac thing, crazy, but seriously i can't sleep. i didn't expect this sleep deprivation thing gets worse.

i had this thought which repeatedly crosses my mind; don't surpass my capacity for responsibility. over the years, this capacity has grown, but the results of exceeding it haven't changed.

my capacity is exceeded gradually, through the accumulation of simple, spm's preparation + daily tasks.

but a few times a year, i spontaneously decide that i'm ready to be a real, matured teen. i don't know why i decide this; it always ends terribly for me. but i'll do it anyway. i sit myself down and tell myself how am i going to start knowing people in a wider range in a real world (exception of facebook,myspace etc social net), how am i suppose to adapt in another real world after this, how am i going to overcome problems without fuzzy duvet after this.

my schedules are drafted. but what will be next? day-planners are all purchased. i'll be stocking up on fancy food 'cause i'm planning on morphing into a master chef and actually cooking instead of just eating in dewan selera like i used to. i'll get prepared for my new life as a maturer teen like some people prepare for their marriage. haha.



the first day or two of my plans usually goes, just fine.

for a little while, i actually feel grown-up and responsible. i strut around with my head held high, looking the other responsible people in the eye with that knowing glance that says "i understand. i'm responsible now too. just look at my groceries." haha.

at some point, i start feeling self-congratulatory :)



this is a mistake.

i begin to feel like i've accomplished my goals. it's like i think that adulthood is something that can be earned like a trophy in one monumental burst of effort and then admired and coveted for the rest of one's life.

what usually ends up happening is that i completely wear myself out. thinking that i've earned my effort, i give myself permission to slack off for a while and recover. since i've exceeded my capacity for responsibility in such a dramatic fashion, i end up needing to take more recovery time than usual, like studying at the eleventh hour again. this is when the guilt-spiral starts.

that little over-confident was a procrastination.

at some point in this endlessly spiraling disaster, i am forced to throw all of my energy into trying to be excelled again, just to dig myself out of the pit i've fallen into. the problem is that i enter this round of attempted not-to-study-so-much already burnt out from the last round. everything just didn't work.

it always ends the same way; starts everything all over and again, like reading Biology from the first chapter a night before exam. slumped and haggard, i contemplate the seemingly endless tasks ahead of me.


i miss sm st patrick



i'll miss mrsm tawau



SELAMAT BERPUASA, PEOPLE :)

prison.

prison is just like boring namby-pamby boarding school.

FORM 5 FIRST SEM 2010

Bahasa Melayu - 85 (A)
Bahasa Inggeris - 84 (A)
Sejarah - 90 (A+)
Pen Ag Islam - 88 (B+)
Modern Math - 95 (A+)
Additional Math - 80 (A)
Biology - 80 (A)
Physics - 82 (A)
Chemistry - 91 (A+)

GPM - 0.6667 (rank 1)
PNG - 3.96 (rank 3)

alhamdulillah :)

confession of a jealous sister. LOL

Warning: The following post may seem to be a racial slur but keep in mind the writer is a malay, therefore there is no racial bs in this. Furthermore, the writer would like to apologize on any damage inflicted by the following. Everyone is entitled for their opinion and the writer has hers. Freedom of speech is practiced in Malaysia. Viewer discretion is advised :)


perhaps this picture surprised much any of devoted readers of mine, but for God's sake, that's really my picture with my brother (me left, my bro right).

i've just finished reading my bro's blog and it fascinates me.

http://awakeningthelife.blogspot.com/
the way he wrote, the way he expressed himself, he looked so matured than what i've expected. it's been a while since i last saw him. he played with me, fooled around and even warned me about fatness and fitness, even though it sounds like jokes.

i know how horrible his life was before this miracle happened. well of course, his miracles start with perseverances. yes, he's undeniably a determined big brother.

his latest post reminded me on his 'dark ages'. i dont know why some people are having issues with him changing. environmental changes did made him a better person, feel better, look better and most of all, he is so ALIVE.

but i just dont understand why they're soo negative about it, especially his Malays friends from SM St Patrick. some even said he took drugs to be that skinny. WTH? such a moron. pity them for having such a tiny-lil-brat-thinking.
KESIAN..

YOU JUST DONT KNOW HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO BE FAT FOR THE LAST 15 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE

so people, mirror is proven to be the most efficient thing to transform yourself. it's okay to keep on looking into the mirror 'cause you can strengthen you math skill by counting on the acnes or black pores on your face. so, try it! :)

p/s: my brother often looks into the mirror even when he's already skinny. LOL.


BTW, I MISS MY MISERABLE BIG BROTHER xD

surprise?

ok, everything's getting better. i guess. i'm forgiven, same goes to her. but for sure, she'll never forget what happened on that very day. and me? i've forgotten, well almost except the fact that i've to be 'shooed' out of her best friends' room. but nvm, someday, she'll know it feels to be shooed. haha. xD

VERY FUNNY.

so move'on to my life. i'm having a very very pleasent day. obviously, it's because of my next trip. haha, yeah right, TRIP. and this trip will be the worst trip ever since i'll be living in the jungle for like 72 hours 3 days to be exact continuosly and i'll be then looked like a tarzan, well, not really a tarzan, wife of his could be better :D

it's a camp. a pandu puteri's camp at kota putra, terengganu. so, again, off we go! and recently, i've been living like i've some boyfriends. i mean it, BOYFRIENDS. haha, not really boyfriends, it's just some scandals in the phone. hihihi ;D

i didn't know that someone took my phone number when i'm in MRSM Batu Pahat. every day of my life there goes with the flow except for this one guy, kept staring at me whenever i was there. ok, he's PUM, incharged for the kiosk everyday. i still remember the last sweater i bought from him and surprisingly, he did TOO.

i received an unknown phone call when i reached tawau. i text the person and he said, he was the one who sold the last sweater to me. i mean, WTH? i didn't even know who the hell he was. well, of course, we talked a few times but then almost most of them 'laughed' at our BM, i mean our SABAHAN BM which is a BAKU to them which i 100% disagree with. okay, i'm quite mad with that matter. whatever.

so, move on to my story, so, now, we're texting each other for almost everyday. idk, he seems cute, probably. we've met each other for sometimes...yeah, and he wished to meet me again in TUNAS SAINTIS in Balik Pulau this October. it's about science thingy and i hope, once again, i was chosen to go there :)

pray for me :DD

besides him, there's another him sms me. this time, i didn't know which one is him. i mean, another him. but for sure, this two HIMs is from the same school, MRSM Batu Pahat. so, whatever. okay, an explanation here, WE'RE JUST FRIENDS. for the time being. hihi.

that's all for now. till then :)

stuck

when it happened this way, all you have to do is to be neutral.

but i'll never be completely neutral. it's not that i wanna side any of them, but please, gimme some time to settle down.

ok, i'm currently involved in a boys' fight, involved indirectly. i hate it when it comes to this way, when guys fight because of a girl, (not fighting OVER a girl) and the girl is me. *this ain't about edward-vs-jacab-love story.* i don't consider this prob as relationship prob 'cause it's more to a friendship prob. it's been three years being friend with you two and i didn't wish to end this friendship just because of some silly mistakes that one of us did.

ok, i admit it, somewhere, somehow, i'm wrong. but please, you two, perhaps one of you is reading this, stop your ego please? why didn't you both settle down and just solve it PEACEFULLY?

i know, guys ain't girls.

and i'm not one of you. i didn't know how it feels to be a guy, i didn't know how it feels to be a boyfriend to a girlfriend, i didn't know how it feels to be a male student but despite of those feelings, i know how it feels to be a girl who had stucked in the middle. after you both came to me separately, at the same day, told me everything that i should know, i felt very, very guilty. if only i could give up, leave you two behind and let everything goes with the flow.

but it wasn't that easy. it took me nights and days thinking of both of you. look, no matter how ego were both of you, i know, you two need each other soo sooo much. please don't fight over a little thing. you're big enough to choose the right.

to be honest, i'm truly disappointed of you, Mr S. i thought you're the best for him, but it seems a NO. Mr. S, he's trying to change himself, please except him for the way he is. he didn't mean those things to be happened. he really needs you right now. all you have to do is to be with him, guide him, accompany him against all odds.

my advice, don't be that sensitive. and to Mr A (who'd used to be a best friend of Mr S), please change your attitude. you're almost hated by everyone in your hostel. behave yourself please and don't fight over the littlest thing. it ain't worth it.


so, that's all for the time being. about the post going to Kuala Terengganu, i'm actually going to MRSM Kota Putra, Besut, at terengganu. not kuala terengganu :)

and can't wait to fly off, off we go! BATU PAHAT :DD


till then, miss you too fazrina. looking forward to meeting you next hols. miss you like HELL.

too many things to blog about.

yeah, as the title goes, i've so many things to blog about. toooooo many things. let's just start with some current issue then. the dog next door went berserk again this morning and it wakes me up. bathroom then called me to clean my ass. my mom starts nagging since i woke up at 11.50am. i ignored it and enjoy my breakfast in the middle of the afternoon. it tastes good and thank God i'm not eating in a jail's tray. as my hunger disappeared, my despair came in a sudden. i was so heartbroken as i found out the toys that i've been collecting since i was three defiled. till then, i gave up and start blogging.

and soon i became more frustrated when i found out my blog is barely alive and struggled breathing since the owner had been neglecting it for about one and a half month. but then i realised that i should be grateful for knowing that my blog isn't dead, yet.

move on about school,
nerds in my school had recently found out a better way to release their tension instead of addicting into drugs. most of them had officially become rubic cube addicts. they found it interesting till some had achieved their greatest record solving the rubic cube within seconds while some have gained brain-damaged ever since rubic cube squeezed their head out of nowhere and apparently, i'm one of them. fyi, i'm TRYING to be addicted with that stuff but i just can't.


my college too are now searching for a new Badan Wakil Pelajar. Badan Wakil Pelajar is a bunch of people who are incharged to do 'charity' for the whole school, you know, sort of like politics representives aka wakil rakyat. in order to be one of them, we've to join the audition first. then the whole school will vote for those chosen.

and guess what, i've joined the audition. O.o
it was hell scary. a few friends of mine joined it too and we're now in probation. waiting for the results. the other participants are damn good man! not sure if i'm chosen or not. :S

and'and people, my standardize test 2 had just over. SCREW IT. i don't think i can score this time. but anyway, felt a bit happy 'cause once and for all, i get the highest for my chemistry, 88%. my math sucks a bit, 88%. whatever.

flew off to Kuala Lipis last two weeks for dramafest.
i'll post further info on dramafest tomorrow.
haven't get the pictues from FERA yet.


uh-huh, i finally have a CRUSH on someone. his name starts with 'Z'. grr, he's really really cute. well, not really actually. just cute. i like him for no reason. my friends kept asking me why but till then, i'm speechless. perhaps a mole on his face attracted me? hehe. but, he already had someone. so, let's just say, we're not meant to be. haha. but still, i DO like him :))

gtg now. will post more later. hanging out with cousins.

and btw,
HAPPY LABOUR DAY :D

bahasa melayu part 3

iman said i should give a try on BM post. it's like something fun and yeah, i try it.
screw it, my bm sucks. haiyaa, just read it. -__-

wahai pembaca yang arif lagi bijaksana,

marcapada ini, aku acap kali mendengar rakan-rakan ku berperasaan dan bersemangat mengepos post-post dalam bahasa kebangsaan negara kita, bahasa melayu. aku tersentak seketika tatkala mengetahui bahawasanya iman, seorang penulis yang mengibaratkan talian tanpa wayarnya seperti anjing betina manakala sheena, seorang yang sememangnya anti kepada anjing betina dan jantan durjana telah mengeluarkan post-post yang amat menyayat hati dan menusuk kalbu serta sanubari sekalian.

dengan rasa tidak malunya, aku memperoleh inspirasi daripada senior-senior ku yang kian di ambang ketuaan ini untuk mengepos satu lagi post yang berunsurkan bahasa melayu. kendatipun aku tidak tahu apakah tajuk sebenar yang ingin aku post pada hari ini, seperti dalam kebingungan nya daku menulis post yang tidak seberapa ber'purpose' ini.

jam menunjukkan tepat 10 malam sementara aku masih lagi dibelenggu kebingungan untuk memberi tajuk kepada post ku ini. fikiran ku bertambah kusut pabila aku mendapati bahawasanya ayahanda serta ibunda ku telah jauh meninggalkan ku dengan membawa diri berhari raya cina di rumah cina. namun, aku sedar bahawasanya adalah penting bagi kita untuk mengeratkan tali silaturrahim bagi menjayakan intergrasi nasional yang selalu diuar-uarkan oleh ahli politik negara kita.

adikku turut mengikutkan dirinya kerana apabila ayahanda dan bondaku mention tentang giant, dia terus menyemangatkan diri untuk pergi bersama kalian. seperti yang aku disediamaklumkan juga, adik ku ingin membeli kerepek sempena menyambut perayaan hari raya cina lewat ini. oleh itu, adalah lebih berguna jika aku meninggalkan diri di dalam rumah sahaja kerana sesungguhnya banyak lagi perkara yang berfaedah yang dapat dilakukan dan dipraktikkan di dalam rumah, contohnya mengon9, memblog, melompat skipping untuk meninggikan diri dan lebih efficient lagi berexercise untuk menurunkan lemak di badan.

kembali kepada topik tentang adindaku. wahai adinda, aku tidak mengerti mengapa engkau menjadi kegilaan akibat giant. aku juga tidak faham mengapa engkau sukak betul pegi itu eastern plaza. bukan nya ada kedai bukak jugak time-time hari raya cina ney. adui, nda la ku taw, sukak betul kao pegi sana. bukannya ada pa2 jugak. tapi tidak mengapa lah wahai adindaku, asalkan engkau belikan jus epal kegemaranku di sana, akan ku maafkan segala salah dan silap mu wahai adinda. biarpun belum lagi sampai bulan ramadhan dan bulan syawal yang menjelang tiba lama lagi.

maka, sekian sahajalah coretan ku pada hari yang wanderful ini. sesungguhnya aku telah memerah dan memecahkan kepala otakku untuk mengarang post ini.


dengan penuh rasa kasih dan sayang jauh di lubuk hati ini,
ditambah dengan otak yang tension akibat subject kimia,
nabila azureen



sekian.

so, how's my bm? i think i should take some BM course or tuition to improve my BM. it sounds a bit sucky. actually, it really sucks. but never mind, i can see iman's point though, at least i've tried :)

so people, try to post in BM, support your mother tongue, it's fun what. LOL.

bahasa melayu part 2

hoho. my third post for today.
i was totally surprised when iman did the same thing. i was like, wtf?
on the same day, i repeated the same sentence for the second time.

something truly unbelievable thing happened. again. -__-
iman posted one entry in bahasa melayu!

read people, read.

kehadapan pembacaku,

apa khabar kamu semua? aku harap kamu berada dalam keadaan sihat walafiat.
Di sini, aku ingin menceritakan tentang pengalamanku bercuti di Felda Sahabat pada hari Ahad yang lalu bersamaan dengan 25 Januari 2009 hinggalah keesokan harinya.

Aku telah meng-escapekan diri daripada menghadiri kelas kimia Encik Karunageran pada petang hari itu. Hal tersebut telah membuatkan temanku, Sheena bertanya tentang di manakah kelibatku pada hari itu. Aku sangat menghargai keprihatinanmu itu, kawanku.

Perjalanan ke Felda Sahabat memakan masa selama..umm aku sendiri pun tidak tahu kerana aku berada dalam keadaan separa sedar hampir seluruh perjalanan. Namun begitu,aku sempat menatap wajah jam di telefonkue yang reject itu, dan aku dapati bahawa kami telah sampai pada pukul 2 beberapa belas minit petang.

Sesungguhnya aku tidak mahu membuang masa menaip karangan yang panjangnya seperti panjangnya barisan kereta yang beratur ke Giant ketika pasaraya itu baru dibuka pada satu masa dahulu.

Oleh sebab talian tanpa wayarku berlagak seperti anjing betina, gambar-gambar tidak dapat di atas-muatkan. aku akan memposkan gambar-gambar itu pada pos yang akan datang.

LMAO ! i love the anjing betina the most. and the simile, i love the giant one. omg, i think they inspire me to post one entry in malay.

do you think i should do that? i think so. xD


until my next bahasa melayu post. ROFL.

bahasa melayu part 1

the second post for today. i dreamt about davedays last night! hoho. stupid. -.-

actually, i snooped around sheena's blog just now. hoho.
something truly unbelievable thing happened.
she posted one entry in bahasa melayu!
it sounds funny, really funny. so here it goes,


right click to enlarge

those highlighted are my favourite. i love the phrase 'jantan durjana' the most. LMAO ! no BM novels' writer would write such a thing. you know, novels these days are boring. no offense. something fresh and creative like this should be published as a novel, not some boring articles which could make one slept the whole through. hoho. anywho, i love your BM sheena! you should be a writer for the sake of Bahasa Malaysia. ROFL. xD

i love DaveDays !

OMG, another davedays' video. this is hilarious people! way much funnier than andrew, kevjumba and the other comedians etc. hoho. he's such a loser when i first watched his video about the 7 things. but now, i think i'm starting falling in love with him. i love the way he modified those lyrics. his lyrics suck though but they are cool.
gosh, i love DaveDays.

yesterday, for the whole day, i snooped around Youtube just to check out all his vids. namely, 'no one', 'katie's song', 'i can't wait to see miley', 'summer plan meeting miley', they're all funny vids. he's totally a huge fan of miley cause he's like so desperate to meet miley and invent some stupid lyrics just because of her. what can i say, insane can happen in many ways. LOL.

and now, i think i'm the one who go nuts because of Davedays. i even put his song into my friendster profile. his songs are so addictive, even drugs can be defeated. LMAO! Davedays, i love you more than i love my ipod! davedays, marry me! you're sooo hot!

p.s : you should check out his other vids in Youtube. he's a great singer! ROFL. xD

i wanna be with the real miley?

LOSER
check out this vid. hoho. STUPID.

stupidity.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR

hey hey people, it's chinese new year and i was grounded at home. life's getting stupid these days and i kept getting myself involved with some stupid stuff. you know, busy with school stuff, brass band, prefects board etc. while my friends? they've become more insane studying too much. this is one of the examples.


right click to enlarge

see? my classmate, yvonne had discovered a brand new mixture of literature component and chemistry long-winded formula. pity her, she studied too much. LOL. just kidding yvonne.

since today was chinese new year, so we got some cny's eve celebration last night. we're not chinese laa weyh. just having some integration celebration, it's fun what. we went to pizza, met my uncle and aunt plus my lil cousins. they're having their dinner there. they are totally wild that would drive people crazy. get some prove, i went nuts last night. people in pizza hut are staring at me like hell while i was entertaining my lil cousins. don't blame me, that's a natural phenomenon. to them, i'm totally a freak. stupid heh?

and yesterday too, when i finished my bath, i got message from kay. gosh, i didn't expect her to get my number from myaa just to invite me joining her trip to kk. hoho. she's terribly desperate going to kk. i think she craved on her Big Mac that much. LOL. she kept asking me if i could join her or not but to my and her disappointment, i can't make it. my mom would nag me all day long for going to kk alone. and this morning, she had enjoyed her hols in kk. i think she ate her Big Mac for her lunch today. just kidding, kay.

grr, yesterday, yeah, yesterday, some stranger text me. and to my surprise, the one who text me was sis dyan's cousin, who is my schoolmate surprisingly. sis dyan told him about me. we text all day long yesterday. he's quite a nice person and he's form 5 this year. hoho. a coincidence heh? so now, we're friends :)

that's all about stupidity. until my next stupider post, chow ! xD