just a few words to say =')

i had loved april, events that occurred last month had been favourable: especially on the royal wedding. hehe! =D



it would cost such a great loss if someone had missed the live broadcast of this magnificent wedding of the century. owh, it was the sweetest fairytale ever :)



yeah i know sitting in front of the television wouldn't be as pleasant as hours of standing in the midst of Westminster Abbey. but i must admit that everything was exquisitely beautiful! kate looked absolutely stunning in her wedding dress and william looked like he was the happiest man in the world =D

it was a real life fairytale. how i wish i could be like kate someday. prince harry, will you marry me? lol xD

owh, in case you're wondering where have i been missing for the last two months (bajet orang baca blog dia. lol xD) i went to MARA's scholarship interview last week in kk and it went quite well. alhamdulillah, praise to Allah, i was blessed with wonderful people around me, who had been helping me, even until the last minute, owh, i have no idea how to thank you guys! =')



special thanks to my parents, my big brother and my lil sister, my teachers, aunty natashah and teacher pauline, my friends (especially those who attended the interview), family friend from perak: uncle malik and muhaimin, family friend from kedah: uncle sobri and aunty, nazreen and baku --> owh, you helped a lotttt :)

THANKS A ZILLION =)

hope for good news. amin. by the way, alhamdulillah and congratulations to my bestiee: andy nurehan and a few friends of mine for getting places in Tanta University in Egypt, to kakak mumun and fera for the driving license and to nazreen sobri for the scholar! owh, you guys rock! godspeed guys! =)

to andy, kaka mumun, amirah, laima, safe'nana, fera, iswari, niza, kiki, inma, fatihah, zaimah, fadzillah, semualah! :)
ya Allah, permudahkanlah jalan kami ya Allah, kekalkan lah persahabatan hamba-Mu bersama ukhti-ukhti ini ya Allah, mereka terlalu banyak membantu hamba-Mu ketika hamba-Mu sedang rapuh dan goyah. insyaAllah, Allah Al-alim, Allah akan tunjukkan apa yang terbaik. amin.

sahabat-sahabatku, saya cinta kamu sampai mati. ukhwah fillah =')

okay, till then. assalamualaikum! =D

1.1.11

everything just went and happened so fast, all of them are still very clear in my mind. like how i started my form 5, my birthday, the struggles, the friends, the-nearly-break-up-friend, the day i stepped into new room meeting new roomates, the loud singing in dorm and the other dorm, as well as the bilik study and etc lahh! heee :D

and especially how i've become so matured after my failure (well, just recently). nahh, no worries, i'm moving on, btw, congratulations to those who succeed! :D

even though it all went by so fast but last year was a roller coaster ride! i really wish it wouldn't end. :(

last year, i've achieved most of the things i wanted. i stayed in track & field, been beating myself up just to loose some weight (and apparently i lost 3kg, but it turned back to 45 since it was just water lost -.-). i've been a good girl, most of the time ;p and most of all, i did travel a LOT :D

i've grown up and have been using my brain a little bit more. i've stayed to who I am instead of caring about what others have to say. i met best friend, good friends, true friends; true love? haha, nah, not yet. gahh, i've been up, i've been down and i've been somewhere in between. (?)

okay, anywho; these are my new year's resolutions people :)

1. get closer to Allah. insyaAllah :)

2. no more self-destructing-diet. hehe, beat myself up though, keep on exercising (tennis drilling. HAHA)

3. work hard. earn money, SAVE MONEY. for abah and mumy and beli camera BARU :)

4. go to PERLIS (since this is the only ceruk i haven't reached. hihi)

5. widen my knowledge, just about everything.

6. always be prepared for any tests or exams. to be short, stop being the last minute person. 'cause you'll die. owh, YOU WILL DIE -.-

7. improve my cooking skill. master japanese, korean and JAVANESE cuisine. YUM YUM

8. DO NOT skip meals. any meal, especially BREAKFAST.

9. be a good good girl. listen to parents, no more prissy princess of me -.-

10. last but not least, keep on motivating myself. i can always improve, kan?

oooh, did i mention that i finished high school?! *can i get a woooot???!* hehe ;)

well, 2010 was my senior year at mrsm tawau. After 3 bloody years of being a junior in st patrick then another 1 frigging year in mrsm tawau as form 4 student, i finally became a senior. life was pretty hectic but i wouldn't have it any other way. i mean, i juggled everything; from my studies, my student council duties, assembling and leading the exco kesenian & kebudayaan, my math society, emcee for school regular occassions, my crazy extra class schedules, random girls'(& guys' + juniors') dramas and of course embracing change. i did have some family & friends time in between all of that. thanks, thanks a lot :)

wowww, i have quite a list there. oh myy, i did all of that in one year. haha, i feel soo old. i'll recap some other time.


oh, and for those who're going to serve for the country tomorrow (PLKN), or whenever the time laa, hihi, good luck guys! and sorry for the no-picture-post, i'm really not in the mood. i don't know, due to the early month, or maybe some things that happened last month, or, i suppose, last year. i don't know, just not in the mood and i promise, i'll be back with a smile. i'll be fine of course, it just takes some time. once again, thanks blog for hearing this little tiny voice.

happy new year. may Allah bless all of us and may 2011 become a better year than ever. hope so, amin :)

tennis?

in the midst of eid, we planned to have a slightly different meeting, tennis court meeting. well, to be honest, this is the first time i played tennis, so yeah, here's the story goes.


this is what happened when i tried to treat the tennis ball like a shuttle cock. lol.


and this is when my 'good' friends trying to rescue my tennis ball.


and finally, it landed safely :D


eleena dementieva and the gang. lol.


we played in Fuji Park tennis court, by the way :)


the innocent look after noticing his adidas bottle worthed RM25 was broken.
(jagatheesh, my driver ;p)


billie (left) who's always busy on the line, *banyak girlfriend* ;p


joey, the most '38' girl i've ever met. lol.


after our 1 hour and a half attempt of getting fit, we ended up hanging out in nostalgia. gaining weight, again -.-'


an image of the old cinema in tawau :)


me, joey and yvonne (the barbie doll girl ;p)


our extremely huge apple juice.
we, (3 persons all together) finished it after 2 hours. -.-


me and jag. (mind you, he's not available and he's not mine)


'N' stands for NABILA. ;p


happy looks after eating. :D (this is normal)


well, simple yet meaningful. really hope to hang out with you guys again, some other day maybe? and thanks for the double treat (tennis + food). sweet reminisce, especially on the picking-balls-and-balls-went-missing-at-the-end thing :D

and i had this daughter-and-mom conversation just now. well, it's about girls' stuff. discussion went serious at first and everything goes fine afterwards. i felt a little bit awkward, well, discussing about something serious with my mom, really serious, i mean it. it ended when our rendang for tomorrow got cooked. overall, thanks mommy, that conversation just now, was fun. it's been a while since i last talked to you for that long :)

goodnight and happy eid. can't wait for MRSM's raya tour tomorrow. sleep early guys! salam :D

let pictures talk.

serious II

current place : library.

i told my friends about it and now, i'm feeling better. i didn't know how it's going to be but i think i've made my decision, i guess.

it's too complicated. i wanna get things off, but it seems ridiculous. okay, the story sounds this way. he is too kind, too perfect and most of all, he's too hopeful. i don't know how should i describe him, but he's the most perfect guy i had ever have, i mean, as a friend.

i just wish i could remain our relationship this way, but he's going overboard. i didn't know whether this time was overboard or something, but his feelings is more than mine. well, yeah, it's a good thing but i'm really afriad.

i didn't know what am i afraid of. i just don't want him to put high hope on ridiculous things. i just don't want him to not to be him and most of all, i don't want him to get hurt. i just wish he'll remain happy, but not overexcited.

but he's too hopeful. maybe it was only some imaginative story he wrote, but really, he's writing the story of me and him. sort of like, love story...plus, he dedicated a poem to me too..well, how sweet would that be, aite? but, come'on, this ain't some romeo-and-juliet story. be realistic, please. i'm not blaming things on you. i'm just trying to be rational here.

actually, there's nothing happened between me and him. maybe it's just me, paranoid. but please GOD, help me, i really really wanna get things off, well not really all, just limit everything.

i'll stick to my promises. just friend.

serious.

i think he's going overboard. i mean, he's serious. seriously, i really didn't want these things happen, especially when it comes to this stage. trust me, it's gonna blow off.

i don't think what i've done for all this while is a wise thing. i think he's going too far, further than what i've thought. i didn't expect him to be this serious. it's not that i don't wanna be serious, it's just that, i'm only 16 and hello? what i have to think about is MY STUDY.

xxx, tell me that you'll remain friend with me, forever, please?? :(


please GOD, help me out.
GET ME OUTTA HERE !


i think i should finish it off. he started it and i'm the one who will end it.
yes, i'm doing it. for the sake of me, and him too.

surprise?

ok, everything's getting better. i guess. i'm forgiven, same goes to her. but for sure, she'll never forget what happened on that very day. and me? i've forgotten, well almost except the fact that i've to be 'shooed' out of her best friends' room. but nvm, someday, she'll know it feels to be shooed. haha. xD

VERY FUNNY.

so move'on to my life. i'm having a very very pleasent day. obviously, it's because of my next trip. haha, yeah right, TRIP. and this trip will be the worst trip ever since i'll be living in the jungle for like 72 hours 3 days to be exact continuosly and i'll be then looked like a tarzan, well, not really a tarzan, wife of his could be better :D

it's a camp. a pandu puteri's camp at kota putra, terengganu. so, again, off we go! and recently, i've been living like i've some boyfriends. i mean it, BOYFRIENDS. haha, not really boyfriends, it's just some scandals in the phone. hihihi ;D

i didn't know that someone took my phone number when i'm in MRSM Batu Pahat. every day of my life there goes with the flow except for this one guy, kept staring at me whenever i was there. ok, he's PUM, incharged for the kiosk everyday. i still remember the last sweater i bought from him and surprisingly, he did TOO.

i received an unknown phone call when i reached tawau. i text the person and he said, he was the one who sold the last sweater to me. i mean, WTH? i didn't even know who the hell he was. well, of course, we talked a few times but then almost most of them 'laughed' at our BM, i mean our SABAHAN BM which is a BAKU to them which i 100% disagree with. okay, i'm quite mad with that matter. whatever.

so, move on to my story, so, now, we're texting each other for almost everyday. idk, he seems cute, probably. we've met each other for sometimes...yeah, and he wished to meet me again in TUNAS SAINTIS in Balik Pulau this October. it's about science thingy and i hope, once again, i was chosen to go there :)

pray for me :DD

besides him, there's another him sms me. this time, i didn't know which one is him. i mean, another him. but for sure, this two HIMs is from the same school, MRSM Batu Pahat. so, whatever. okay, an explanation here, WE'RE JUST FRIENDS. for the time being. hihi.

that's all for now. till then :)

broken.

i'm having the worst fight right now. for God sake, it's the worst fight ever, i mean for this week. it was between me and someone who's obviously a paranoid person who'd ONLY think for the sake of herself and would only think for her own good which is totally NOT MATURED of specifically, IMMATURE !

i'. quite mad of this situation well actually YES, i'm very mad of her. she's kind of person that would only rely on the others but would never think of the others. i don't care if she's paranoid or something 'cause for God sake, i love her as a friend but for sure, i don wanna make it obvious. honestly, i don't like to show my love to someone i loved or maybe i don't know how to express those feelings but come'on laa, you're big enough to judge which one is right and which one is wrong.

and i think both of us had done some stupidest silliset mistake ever.

ok, f and i want to help you, yes we did. last night's situation had nothing to do with our condition in the past. i've always knew that i often hurt you but think again, that's for your own good. okay, maybe i sound hush to you, but that's the way i am. i can't make myself become some feminine girl who would pursue you, give you wake up call every second of your life til the end of your life. speak it for real, I'M SICK OF YOU.



yes, i'm cruel, violent, or terorist you might say. whatever, i don't care. and it's time for me judge you, you're kind-hearted but selfish, emotional and most of all you're SENSITIVE.

so, whatever,. if you wanna remain this way, it's up to you then. i've no more right to change you and i don;t think i can do this anymore. i gave up and it's all up to you, my friend.



p/s: it's just a broken piece of mine, ignore it if you don't understand. dedicated to someone.

stuck

when it happened this way, all you have to do is to be neutral.

but i'll never be completely neutral. it's not that i wanna side any of them, but please, gimme some time to settle down.

ok, i'm currently involved in a boys' fight, involved indirectly. i hate it when it comes to this way, when guys fight because of a girl, (not fighting OVER a girl) and the girl is me. *this ain't about edward-vs-jacab-love story.* i don't consider this prob as relationship prob 'cause it's more to a friendship prob. it's been three years being friend with you two and i didn't wish to end this friendship just because of some silly mistakes that one of us did.

ok, i admit it, somewhere, somehow, i'm wrong. but please, you two, perhaps one of you is reading this, stop your ego please? why didn't you both settle down and just solve it PEACEFULLY?

i know, guys ain't girls.

and i'm not one of you. i didn't know how it feels to be a guy, i didn't know how it feels to be a boyfriend to a girlfriend, i didn't know how it feels to be a male student but despite of those feelings, i know how it feels to be a girl who had stucked in the middle. after you both came to me separately, at the same day, told me everything that i should know, i felt very, very guilty. if only i could give up, leave you two behind and let everything goes with the flow.

but it wasn't that easy. it took me nights and days thinking of both of you. look, no matter how ego were both of you, i know, you two need each other soo sooo much. please don't fight over a little thing. you're big enough to choose the right.

to be honest, i'm truly disappointed of you, Mr S. i thought you're the best for him, but it seems a NO. Mr. S, he's trying to change himself, please except him for the way he is. he didn't mean those things to be happened. he really needs you right now. all you have to do is to be with him, guide him, accompany him against all odds.

my advice, don't be that sensitive. and to Mr A (who'd used to be a best friend of Mr S), please change your attitude. you're almost hated by everyone in your hostel. behave yourself please and don't fight over the littlest thing. it ain't worth it.


so, that's all for the time being. about the post going to Kuala Terengganu, i'm actually going to MRSM Kota Putra, Besut, at terengganu. not kuala terengganu :)

and can't wait to fly off, off we go! BATU PAHAT :DD


till then, miss you too fazrina. looking forward to meeting you next hols. miss you like HELL.