the unexpected smoking guy

the age old debate; are smoking men sexy or nasty? O.o


does this look sexy to you?

nahh, for an 18-year-old-girl like me, the first question was supposed to be: "why do men smoke?" *now that sounds nerd* -.-

well, i'll never have that guts to really ask the chain smokers why but i'm quite sure that i'll get a variety of answers from them. it's really difficult to find a single answer about the reasons of smoking, it's like; people have valid reasons for smoking and more or less they enjoy smoking. err, yeah, "enjoy". the feeling of ease and pleasure after smoking that they can do their job easily and more comfortably. like, they have to follow some kind of smoking-schedule-routinely, then they'll call it as a REAL LIFE.

weird, strange, and "WHY???!!!!". yes, still: WHY DO THEY SMOKE??

1. for any-health-concious-homosapien-on-earth would say:
"they're addicted and can't help themselves. that's the only reason."

2. for temporary-smokers-like-they're-not-going-to-be-addicted would say:
"alas, it's not like we're going to die instantly. i'm not a heavy smoker though. i smoke slim cigarettes. i just really like it, care much?"

3. for forever-and-ever-smokers-like-he'll-never-let-them-go-even-for-one-single-second would say:
"we are all going to die at some point. i've had so many friends die at a very early age, not related to tobacco, which i realized to do the things in life that i like to do. i won't die worrying when the sky is going to fall, i love smoking."

see? when we get to compare these three answers, there's one obvious reason; clearly because they are living their life to the fullest, BUT with their own ways.



......................................



wait, am i encouraging people smoking?

the history few years back changed my perception towards any smoking guy. my grandfather left us just because of this tiny little monster: cigarette. but before he left us, that cigarette left him first. yes, he had this sudden-stop-smoking, and that's what took away his live.

until yesterday, i saw a friend took out a pack of cigarettes, removing a cigarette, and lighting it, and yes: he had that almost ritualistic satisfaction, exactly like my grandpa used to. i was helpless, i did nothing but peek. i spoke nothing and ignored. i was completely a useless friend. but who am i to stop him? was that really him? standing there smoking??

i have no idea.



please, please don't smoke guys. you can still be a manly guy without cigarette. chill yawww~ =D

assalamualaikum! =D

money and me T.T

i checked my first salary in Public Bank today and yahoooo~ my current savings increased! teehee! =D

OKAY, it's not that much. but alhamdulillah i finally earn my own money!! so, i think firmly right after i saw the figures. RM***.**. it's not even 1k yet. YET. the thing is not get freaked out by how much i happened to spend for all this while. it's water under the bridge. the point is today is the beginning of my frugal life. i swear i'll cut my expenditure by half or maybe more or worse not even using any of it 'cause i reckon i can do much better than that. HEHE! :p





i've decided not to withdraw any single cent. let it grows and me: become richer =D

and as a result, i walked along the street with an empty purse. (right -.-) but i felt pure and refreshed. look at all those people on the street, scurrying around, thinking about nothing but money (especially this one fat guy i met in BSN, i think i saw some money scratch on his forehead -.-)



money, money, money, it's simply an obsession. but once you relinquish money altogether, it ceases to have any relevance. already, i feel i'm in completely different mindset, like seriously. less materialistic, more philosophical. more spiritual. like people always say: we all fail to appreciate each day just how much we already possess. light, air, freedom, love, the companionship of friends. i mean, these are things that matter, aren't they? not clothes, shoes, and fripperies. -.-

it's almost frightening, the transformation which already occured within me. for instance, i walked past the magazine kiosk and idly GLANCE OVER - but i don't feel the slightiest desire to buy any of the magazines in offer. they are so irrelevant in my new life.

so i kept on walking, feeling serene and impervious: like a buddhist monk -.- and to my own surprise, i walked straight past the discount shoe shop without even looking, and straight past Vinci's too. no more cendol today. no more nasi lalap. no spending at all, just straight to amanah saham to open my new account there. T.T
(and saving in amanah saham is indeed a good investment since they offer a higher percent of interest compared to the other banks. source: my dad)

so now, i'm planning on transferring a huge amount of money from my Alliance Bank's account into Amanah Saham. hehe! good plan =D

and i'm so sorry if i have to decline any of my friend's invitation to any money-requiring-events: because obviously I'M SAVING~ lalala :D


but of course, fatney, i'll keep my words on that nasi lalap's treat and to my smsp's friends: i am soooo looking forward for the steamboat thing! hehe! (once in a blue moon maa. never mind one =p)



anywho, i'll stick to these two new words: frugality and simplicity. well, probably my new watch-words :/


a new, uncluttered, Zen-like life, in which i spend nothing. seriously. -.-


till then everyone, sweet dreams! assalamualaikum =D

what if i die today?

in Islam, we believe that the present life is a trial in preparation for the next realm of existence. when we die, we are washed and wrapped in a clean, white cloth and buried after a special prayer (sembahyang jenazah), preferably the same day. it's like a final service that muslims can do for the decease and an opportunity to remember that their own existence here on earth is brief.

brief. life on earth is too brief. there's a friend of mine (in my former boarding school), well though i'm not really close to her, but i really love to take a glimpse on her table, since she's sitting near to me. i was doomed when i saw the note 'ingat mati' (means remember death). and to all of a sudden, these few days, i've been thinking on the same thing, what if i die tomorrow, what if i die the next hour, what if i die in a few seconds by now? anything can just happen, with Allah's will.

and when i think and look back into my past, i can't remember how much sins that i've done, how much bad things that i've thought etc. simply because i've done too much of it; how could i just wash it away like we use to when cleaning up the KFC? how could i just cleanse my heart to make it as crystal clear as the heart when i was born last 18 years? ya Allah, i beg for your forgiveness, astaghfirullah.



just imagine yourself after you pass away, imagine your grave through nights and days. you wished you didn't do what syaitans said, you wished that you had got up and had prayed. and imagine the day that you died, imagine all of the tears that the others cried for you, how it felt when your body was tied, how it felt in the grave which you lied. astaghfirullah.

imagine the day you'll be called to account, imagine the sum to which your life will amount. think for a moment of the deeds which you mount, think for a moment how much they will count.

MAROBBUKA? (who is your God?)
MA DINUKA? (what is your religion?)
MA KIBLATUKA? (what is your qibla?)
MA NABIYUKA? (who is your prophet?)
MA KITABUKA? (what is your kitab?)

will i be able to answer them? will my mouth work on that very day? will my good deeds pull me out of the big deep fiery hole? or perhaps my sins are too much that i'll be thrown into that fiery hole. masyaAllah, i need guidance, i need your guidances ya Allah.

yes, Allah, Lord of mankind and jinn. 'think of Allah when tempted to sin, think of the paradise which you will dwell in'. that's what kak murni told me. remember Him, our only Creator. and alhamdulillah, i am really fortune to know you kak murni. thanks for the book once again, alhamdulillah ;)

and andy, i'll make an entry on my working place later, insyaAllah. and sorry for the late post, i'm too busy these days. and to my abang, do take care yaw! remember to skype me yaa! ;D

till then, assalamualaikum! :D